I am lonely. For about 8 years, my life has been one huge obstical after another. I become a full time step mum over night, and Most of my friends just vanished. There was a big facs investigation against th kids mum and I feel I was just put in th too hard basket by them. Issues in reguseds to this have continued for 8 years so it's a constant drain. My health has deteriorated and then more friends vanished..... im currently going through a cancer scare, I may have cervical cancer, and also auto immune, again, friends have vanished.... I feel like my life is just too difficult for people and I'm just not worth th time. Only one friend has remained close over th decade, and I feel she's also distancing herself. I reach out, try to catch up, I listen to their problems, I try not to focus on my problems no matter how badly I need to let it all out.... iv struggled all my life to keep friends, so it must be me that s the problem
5 Replies
Have you spoken to a professional?
I don’t think it’s you personally that’s the problem. You have a lot on your plate, and people generally are pretty useless at knowing what to do or say and start to assume you are too busy etc.
It really sounds like you need someone who is on your side and can listen to you talk through those issues. A lot of places are offering online and over the phone counselling now, which certainly has made therapy more accessible for me. Maybe it’s time to talk to your GP about a referral.
It could well be (not you) but your circumstance and issues that are the problem. People really dont have it in them to take on anything more than themselves, they look for positives that lift them up. Youll find if you had no issues you would make more friends, and for what its worth, even those ones often move away or drift apart with busy lives.
Its hard, and I agree, you need to see a psychologist.
Oh sweet heart x You are not the problem. I don't have any close friends either, I had a few people I thought were close but after going through a very difficult time with no support whatsoever from anyone I ditched them. I have my kids and my partner and they are all I need! It sounds like you really do need a listening ear and you can vent here all you like, we will listen! I also like the advice of seeing someone about what you're going through x
Might be time to invest in you, someone else can't make you worthy you need to feel, understand and believe you are enough. Might be time to see a psychologist, let them guide you to a better headspace. Some people can take on others issues and keep going, i there's don't know what to say. I professionally trained person will help you deal, and i believe what you put out you get back. Maybe when you believe in yourself others will be drawn to you and your new friend circle will appear. light and love 💕
Find a counsellor or psychologist you feel comfortable talking to! I'm lucky my friends stuck around but I didn't realise until I began seeing a professional that I would often use my friends as a place to debrief. Now that I have seen a psychologist and have a healthy space to talk about my issues I have found my friendships are so much more enjoyable, carefree and fun. I have also noticed a change in my friends behaviour and feel like now I can identify they didn't enjoy time with me when I was in a negative head space.