Body confidence

I am not a Mum, or even a wife/ partner but I had to put this out there, so i found this place because you are all women and I want your advice! Being Mums you will probably help me put this into perspective but I seriously struggle with body confidence! I am not overweight or underweight i'm just not confident in my own figure, face, legs, arms etc. I was bullied a bit by my ex of 7 years ago and its always stuck with me because he was my first boyfriend, he said i was thin with big feet and had pale skin (their size 7.5- 8 and i'm 5'5 and weigh 50kg, I have blue eyes with white skin and freckles with blonde hair) i never had a problem with my image before this! I can google all this and read all about how to help my self but its failing me for now and i need to reach out to real people! Im a quiet person and dont socialise a lot so I dont always feel i have many friends to love me and believe in me for who i am. Im not super close with my Mum and she would think i'm being silly any way. If i dress up and try to be pretty and feel good i get so much judgement, also because im not super chatty and social im QUIET and observant type of personality! I do reach out and initiate chat though. Its not in our family to dress up so if I do i'm the dumb one who needs to be pretty and there fore im not very smart or something stupid like that, so i try not too and purposley try to make myself look plain but end up feeling crap and not good enough because i'm not being me and I dont feel loved or appreciated. Oh my gosh its so stupid but its so real for me. How do i stop being sensitive over this and just start loving myself my feet and my slender self and not think about what others are thinking of me or where i do or dont fit in? Im so sad over it and have been for so long. My ex boybriend who judged me has a basically perfect girlfreind now, super small feet, atheltic and brown! He got what he always wanted and i still feel it and it still hurts after so long probably because i havent really delt with it in my heart yet :( any advice please? I want to be strong, happy and confident! Thank you!