Irritable teenager

Anonymous

Irritable teenager

I’m at wits end with my middle son.
I’ve posted in numerous other times about him. He’s the boy who was always angry, hanging out with juvenile delinquents, breaking things and got arrested for possession of pot.
I took him off to the doctor, he was put on Fluvoxamine, an anti depressant. He was going well. Polite, well mannered, cleaned up his filthy pigsty of a room. No barging in and taking things belonging to his brothers, no swearing or yelling. He was the really nice kid he used to be when he was little.
One day he decided he wasn’t going to take them anymore.
Now he’s angry, swearing and nasty.
I bought him a new fuzzy doona cover for his bed as a reward for keeping his room clean.
It slid off the bed and he came out screaming and wanting me to burn it.
He said he wants better medication and the pills I had him on “didn’t do jack shit”. I believe they did.
I told him if he feels he needs stronger pills I will have to make him an appointment and he will likely need a mental health plan and some visits to a psychiatrist. He lost it and doesn’t want tablets at all now.
What do I do??
Do I crush up his Fluvoxamine and keep giving it to him? I’m tempted to, so he’s not acting like this.

Posted in:  Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression, Teenagers, Tips and Advice, Drugs & Alcohol, Puberty

21 Replies

Anonymous

Umm no, don’t crush pills up and give them to him without his knowledge.

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Anonymous

Why not? Would you say the same if a minor was refusing his medication for diabetes or heart problems?

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Anonymous

But he isn’t a child is he.

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Anonymous

Yes he is. He’s only 14 years old. That’s legally a child and if he’s of taking necessary medication, there’s no real reason a parent shouldn’t hide it in his food, for his own well-being.

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Anonymous

If you decided that your medication wasn’t working for you, and you needed something stronger so didn’t take it but your husband decided that you were to difficult to deal with and hid it in your food. That would be okay?

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Anonymous

I’m more than happy to take him to the doctor to get something different. I explained to him that in order to be prescribed something stronger, his GP wants him to see a psych for a possible different diagnosis and enter into a mental health plan, and he hit the roof.
When he was on these meds, he was happy and behaving well.
It’s not as though I’m unwilling to help him.

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Anonymous

Um no 14 is an adult when it comes to medication and they are able to make own decisions.

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Anonymous

I work in aged care. Many of the residents refuse their medication, I know it's in their best interests to take it but I still am not allowed to force them to take it. I'd probably be arrested if I took it upon myself to crush it up and put it in their food.

Why?
Because bodily autonomy, that's why!

A young man who's just beginning to learn how to manage his mental illnesses deserves that very same human right.

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Anonymous

If your idea of helping your child is secretly drugging him, I worry about the safety of your children

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Anonymous

Really?
If he was refusing to take heart medication would you say the same thing?
This is medication he was prescribed by his doctor, not meth.

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Anonymous

That he has told you isn’t working. You are planning on force feeding a child drugs he has openly told you arnt working

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Anonymous

Take him back to the doctors. Was he also seeing a psychologist? If not he needs to

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Anonymous

He’s absolutely refusing to go

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Anonymous

I understand your desperation but I don't think slipping your son his medication is the answer.

He'll notice, perhaps immediately, perhaps after some time once his moods have stabilised but he'll figure it out. I feel like it has the potential to backfire hugely, the last thing you want to create with your son is a mistrust in you.

I would call his doctor and discuss your options and seek advice about how best to approach this. Perhaps even seeking some support and advice from services like Beyond Blue and Headspace would be beneficial.

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Anonymous

And what do you do when I HAVE suggested these things and he says “yeah fuck that, I’m not calling them and I’m not seeing a counsellor”?

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Anonymous

Maybe tough love while hes still young enough, mate if you dont get this under control you cant stay in this house. Ill help you but you need to realise this is not ok and you need to be helping yourself.

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Anonymous

Honestly i dont see it as terrible that you would want to give him the meds he needs. Speak to the doctor and see what they say Im sure they deal with meds refusal all the time, and also part of that would be the fallout for the patient. In that way, your son does need to be held accountable and thats also for seeking help, taking the meds, and taking responsibility for what happens when he refuses. Its a really tough one I feel for you.

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Anonymous

My son is on the same medication, says the same thing..... doesn’t think it works but I can see the benefits. He’s on 50mg. The option to increase the dose is there.

Did your son stop the tablets quickly? It’s not a medication that can just be stopped, he really needed to come off them slowly. Assuming he just stopped the tablets suddenly, do expect the ranging mood swings, it’ll take maybe 1-2 weeks to reach his ‘normal’ (which might not look much different to now sadly).

Don’t slip the tablets into his food, it won’t help and will significantly damage the trust between you both when he finds out. Having a open and honest relationship with him. (The best you can have with a tern boy really important). I would take him to a new GP and talk options.

He really does need professional support with the medication though like counselling or psychologist. However that said, tell him you’ll take him to get the stronger tablets and wait until he’s had a good 4 weeks and noticed behaviour changed to resuggest therapeutic support. I would look into something like Intercept (if you’re QLD based). It might be hard to get him wanting to be involved, however leaving that door open for him is a start.

Good luck x

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Anonymous

Also, he shouldnt just be on medication and thats end of. That would be in conjunction with therapy that helps him with ways of thinking and managing.
And in that way, you can explain that his answer isnt just going to be a pill. Demanding a pill is not the right thinking. Its a long road, hard work, therapy and testing out meds, which, as someone said above, work differently, take time, you have to find the right dosage etc, it takes time, its not a quick fix, but frustrating as it is its a part of the solution.

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Anonymous

are you also the mum who got SLAMMED for not wanting to start him on medication worried of the side affects? And now that you have got him on medication and are trying to keep him on it, getting SLAMMED for wanting to secretly get it in him. Give her a break guys!!!!!

Personally, if my 14 year old was doing this, I would be finding any which way to get him to take it and if secretly is what it takes, i would. By the sounds of this, it could be very well detrimental to his life if he continues on without medication. IMO 14 is still very minor, still not legal to make any types of adult decisions, you're still his primary carer and responsible for him. He lives under your roof. And he sounds like he absolutely needs the medication so do what you need to do.

I would also take him back to the GP and discuss his refusal ect further..

Ps. Watch me get slammed now 🤣😅

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Anonymous

Agreed!!

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