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Anonymous

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Not posted to Facebook please.

What should you do when your husband really doesn’t like you???? Married for 11 years together for 16.... and he seems to suddenly hate everything you do. He hates what I feed the kids for dinner he hates that I didnt feed the fish their normal frozen food and instead fed them flakes. He thinks I do nothing at work and am lazy I dont work and haven’t worked hard in 3 years.

Tonight was fucked. He asked me about 8 times if I wanted him to leave and kept calling me mate. I don’t like being called mate... that’s not what you call your wife and he knows I hate it I told him I do. He told me he was going to leave, then he told me to leave, then wouldn’t let me leave and said my car is his not mine. I got hiM out of my car, there was a bit of a struggle and he at one point had his arm around my neck and pinned me for a short time against the wall. I got in my car and then spent the next hour sitting in my car with him standing behind it so I couldn’t leave unless I ran him over. He was banging on the back of my car... I was at this point very scared. This is 1 in the morning and we have kids. I told him I need time to myself to cool down and to move out of the way numerous times. We have kids asleep inside. He finally moved and I am finally away from the house and am down the street in my car thinking to myself what the actual fuck just happened.
I love this man but actually it doesn’t really feel like he loves me at all. During iso I homeschooled our kids, worked from home did all housework got up early to the kids on Sunday to let him have a sleep In, clean all the dog poo and gave him a great birthday (he knows how by letting all those people come over and I catered for them all without blinking an eye because it was his birthday). I told him tonight I was trying to be considerate and he replied with well that would be a first. I basically fucking honour the ground he walks on and he treats me like shit like he fucking hates me.
I know I am a pain I know I am damaged goods but he is the only person in the world I trust and he is my best friend. I feel so alone now I don’t have him.

Posted in:  Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Self Care

16 Replies

Anonymous

Are either of you on drugs? Whats the back story? I want to answer but there's more to this .

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Anonymous

No neither on drugs. No real back story and feels totally out of the blue to me. Two kids, house together in a nice area, he has had cocaine on Occassion but not often like twice a year. Happy usually. I am so confused.

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Anonymous

Okay, so there seems to be a lot missing from this post. Had either of you been drinking? Is this a normal thing in your house hold? If he was acting like this and being violent why did you leave the premises and leave your children in his care and not call the police, did you become physical with him? Can’t answer without more back ground

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Anonymous

He has never been violent previously and he would never hurt our kids. He lost it over something very little. I left to let off steam. I drove so definately not drinking. He had been at the pub with mates for 5 hours prior but us never come home like this. Really upset over the stupidest thing (like I didn’t get veggies ready for our children and they just had chicken for dinner by itself

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Anonymous

I know it seems like there is a lot missing and that is why I am as confused about it as you.

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Anonymous

Send him on his way. From experience, don't stay in the house with someone that doesnt like you, it's really bad for you.

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Anonymous

Maybe he took a drug at the pub with friends.

Or some guy said his wife was an angel and he came home pissed about you?

Anyway he sounds like a f head.
Tell him if you think life is better without me. Go.

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Anonymous

This was also a DV situation. Don’t ignore that part. Don’t wait around for this to escalate.

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Anonymous

It sounds like he’s been thinking for a long time and wants things over. It doesn’t sound like he has respect for you, since he’s purposely doing things he knows you don’t like.
Don’t try and hold onto something that is being thrown away.

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Anonymous

Maybe he had an affair and cheated on you but taking his actions out on you!

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Anonymous

Hmmm hope not 😢

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Anonymous

Are you okay and safe now? I know that you posted about 12 hours ago.

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Anonymous

Agh makes my stomach churn , this was my ex when he first started taking meth. The weird fights that escalated and made no sense.
If I was you I’d really think hard about if I want me kids raised in an environment where their dad will treat their mum this way.... please stay safe

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Anonymous

Meth would always be the first thing i would suspect too. People just don't for no reason lose it to this unexplained extent unless its meth or an undiagnosed mental health issue. I know this from experience too. Its frightening and instant. My ex was secretly on meth wothout my knowlede and this is a classic sudden, unexplained reaction that he would do too.

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Anonymous

My ex was like this without drugs or alcohol. I do suspect that mentally there may have been some imbalances too. Some people just aren’t good people. Obviously drugs and alcohol play a huge part in a lot of cases though

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Anonymous

My ex was like this with no drugs or alcohol involved. Emotionally abusive, manipulative and verbally abusive. He would stand behind my car too, block door ways and even take my phone. You get used to feeling like they are the only person for you, when inside there is a part of you who knows that you do deserve better. For me it was hard trying to process the thought of change. I had a toddler and it effected his well-being too. The hardest step is taking that step out of the relationship (take your kids) but you deserve to be respected, wanted and cared for. Your happiness is important especially when there are kids involved. There are women’s helplines which you can call who can help you come up with a “safety plan” for leaving if it comes to it. Good luck. You find your happiness. You matter :)

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