Bad mum?

Anonymous

Bad mum?

My husband does not work and I was working full time. Due to pressure from him to “be a mum and not put my job first” I have now gone part time in order to drive my daughter to school each day before I head 40 mins to work. He is now refusing to even pick her up from school because I need to “be a mum” but I can’t drop my hours any further and can’t leave everyday at 2.30 to drive and pick her up. He refuses to budge and would rather not pick her up and have me do it but still expects me to pay all the bills as the sole wage earner. He will not discuss it without being rude and accusing me of abuse. I feel trapped and like I am not giving my best at work and doing everything on the home front. I am numb to it all because of the constant figuring out what to do and always feeling on edge. My life is a mess

Posted in:  Parenthood Guilt

17 Replies

Anonymous

You aren’t abusing him, he’s abusing you!

He doesn’t work, lives off of your income but won’t pick his own kid up from school?

You can do better. You don’t need this dead beat in your life. You’ll never make him happy.

It’s time to dump his arse, and live your best life.

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Anonymous

If he won’t listen stop talking and walk.

It is utterly ridiculous that he not pick up and drop off given he is not working!

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Anonymous

This is completely ridiculous 😡 You and your daughter deserve better. Get some legal advice and leave, he is a lazy scum bag.

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Anonymous

Hell no.
What the fuck could he possibly say to justify his stance?
Is his plan to sit home and contribute nothing to this household?
How about you tell him to step up and be a damned man, then boot his grown ass out on the street so he can get some well needed practise at adulting.

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Anonymous

What about if he starts being a dad?

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Anonymous

Where in the fark do women find men like this? Seriously! It’s time to kick him to the kerb literally. He is a piece of shit & you deserve better.

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Anonymous

I know right????? I just don’t understand how women let men treat them this way? This piece of shit wouldn’t last 5 minutes with me!

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Anonymous

I would turn it around on him and tell him that he needs to "be a man" and "go to work like a man should" to "provide for the family".

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Anonymous

This person would last 2 minutes with me. This is so unacceptable and I just couldn’t do it. I would be following a plan to: have him leave, arrange care for your child and get yourself full time again supporting you and your child. Stop talking as he is so far from reality and he’s not listening anyway. May be scary and a lot of changes but sort stuff out along the way. You may as well be a parent to 2 the way things are. You deserve more than this and I can’t see you being able to please him. Stop trying...

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Anonymous

Honey you deserve so much better as does your daughter. Would you like her to grow up thinking that is how a respectful relationship works. There is so much more to being a mum than school drop off and pick up and by the sounds of it you are a wonderful mumma. It may be hard and take some planning and support but do what is best for you and leave this bully.

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Anonymous

He is a lazy selfish pig.. it’s his daughter too!! Stop listening to him and get out of there.

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Anonymous

Omg did I read that right???? Read that to yourself and tell me if this wasn’t your post, what would your advice be?? Yep. Leave his sorry ass. He’s a pig and disrespectful! How dare he expect you to reduce your hours just so he doesnt have to do do HIS parental duties. Seriously... kick him out. See how he copes without a job/money and when it’s his turn to have the kids and drive them to and from school! You will feel a weight lifted off your shoulders when you do. Stand your ground!!!! Us women deserve respect... demand it or kick him to the Kerb!!!! Accept nothing less!!!!

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Anonymous

You deserve better. Not picking your daughter up from school because you have to work does not mean you are putting your job first, particularly when her father is perfectly able to pick her up himself and you are expected to be the sole income earner. You are not abusing him, it is perfectly reasonable for you to expect him to drop off and pick his daughter up from school if he is not working. You should not have had to reduce your hours and income in the first place.

I don't think I have ever said this before, on one of these posts, but I really think you would be better off without him. He sounds like he is actually abusive himself and gas lighting you into believing the opposite. He sounds lazy and like he is taking advantage of the situation. He is the one not being a parent. A marriage is a partnership, not one person being expected to do everything while the other just does there own thing.

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Anonymous

Pretty simple, if he wants you to be more of a ‘mum’ then he can get a job and make up the difference. And if you are doing the drop offs and pickups then when is he being a ‘dad’?! Sounds like he’s just lazy bastard and wants you to do everything. If it were me I would kick his abusive, lazy entitled self out the door and show your daughter that’s it’s not ok to be treated like a slave by the person that’s supposed to love and support you the most.

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Anonymous

Holy fuck this pisses me off. If he wants you to be the "mum" (considering you already are mum), then he can fuck off and get a job.

What a lazy human. That would not fucking fly with me at all!!!!

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Anonymous

May as well be a single mum if you are expected to do it all anyway. He is being a crap partner...but mostly a Shit dad. You are working HE isnt, the person without a job should be doing parent duties FIRST in regards to school run. My partner works my weekly hours a fort so he does school duties. If he refused, to sit at home. Id drop his lazy rear

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Anonymous

Easy solution, drop the husband, up the hours use before and after school care. The days he has her he picks her up and drops her off.
I’m a full time working teacher. My husband does all the drop offs and pick ups because he owns his business and has flex hours. Your husband is being a dick. Just cause you’re not there for school drop off or pick up means nothing to how well you mother

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