Advice for dealing with 18 yr old at school
My son has turned 18 and is in yr 12 at school. He’s a great kid. However he has recently got his first girlfriend . They’ve been dating most of the year but he and has started staying the night at her house ( every second weekend) . At her house he’s allowed to stay in her bed. When she comes to our house she sleeps in the spare room as We don’t feel she should be in his room. I have found out they’re having sex and feel v uncomfortable about this. My husband says ‘ he’s 18, nothing we can do?’ My question is..,, do I just leave it? Is hubby right?
My other concern is that son has recently attended small get togethers ( due to restrictions) where meth and cocaine been available and encouraged. He’s said ‘ no’ and told us about it. I feel being open with us is great and that I can’t stop him going out, nor do I want to , as otherwise he will stop talking to us. However a friend said I should not let him go out and I should contact the boys parents who are taking drugs and tell them. These are his school friends but I don’t know the parents. At school they’ve had all the usual info about drugs. I don’t want to ‘ dob’ the boys in . What should I do? Please give me some advice?
Advice about sons girlfriend staying over and drugs at parties
Advice about sons girlfriend staying over and drugs at parties
Posted in:
Teenagers, Dating & Sex, Drugs & Alcohol
2 Replies
You can’t stop your son having sex. He’s not 12!
There is absolutely nothing to do here. Your son is 18 and needs to be making decisions for himself around drugs, alcohol, sex and friends.
This is the age where you have to let them test there boundaries while being there to listen.
Are you going to report the drug users he encounters at the pubs and sports? Your son holds all the power here as he should do. Reporting to Your sons friends parents (who are probably 18) will just make your son a pariah, friendless and less likely to come and talk to you when he encounters these situations.
As an adult he will encounter these situations at work, uni and you reporting other people won’t atop your sons exposure and won’t help your son to not use.
No, you cannot stop them from having sex - assuming she is also over the age of consent, there is no reason to be stopping anything. This is what kids this age do, and so they should. I get that it's hard to consider your kids as sexual beings (and too much thought in that direction is just uncomfortable!) but they're going to do it regardless of where they are, so I think getting over it, making sure they're both treating each other right (re: being consenting and willing) AND using appropriate protection is really all you can do. Obviously if there's younger siblings in the house you need to get them to be discreet and keep it in the bedroom.
As for the parties and drugs, again, you can't stop him from going. You can't even really stop your kids from trying/experimenting with drugs. All you can do is hope that he will be safe, and knows that he can come to you if he needs help. Sounds like he's not interested anyway, which is good.