SIL,- drug use, access to nephews.what to do??!

Anonymous

SIL,- drug use, access to nephews.what to do??!

My SIL and great friend has been going off track for some time. She is young (22) and doing heaps of drugs and living in a share house. Yesterday my husband (her brother) and their mum went over there to pick something up (it's MILs house and is being leased to SIL and her friends. When they got there at 10 in the morning, SIL, her house mates and friends were all on drugs, not to mention doing other things, the house was trashed aswell. MIL drug tested her and found she was on 6 different drugs. SIL had a huge argument with husband as he used to be an addict and he got really emotional. I wasn't there and unaware of any of this until SIL called me screaming her head off that "how could they do this to her" it was one night" (it wasn't she has been getting worse for the last 4 -5 months) accusing my husband and MIL of trying to get her friends to hate her, that they want to see her fail etc etc
I did my best to stay neutral, although I do for the better part agree with hubby and MIL. I didn't have much to say to her but I did my best to support her as a friend without saying anything that i didn't actually feel or think. Now I have received a message overnight from SIL saying she is legally going to seek access to our children because she doesn't want to see my husband anymore and it has stressed me out. I have been through court proceedings for my step son and my oldest son and I am really upset that she would through that out there and try and hurt me like this. I'm so frustrated she won't just ask me and talk to me about it. I won't even reply right now because I am just so angry. I am also 5 days away from giving birth to our youngest. I am laying in bed in tears. Does she have a legal right? Will this actually be taken seriously by a lawyer? My family just got out of the court system after years of work and patience. I can't go back there again and I can't believe someone who is supposed to be my family and best friend would so easily threaten me like this.

Posted in:  Relationships & Marriage, Self Care

8 Replies

Anonymous

I'd be very surprised if this was anything more than an empty threat.
She was either still under the Influence or at the very least coming down and she had an emotional outburst because she wasn't in a great frame of mind.

Secondly, she can try but these things cost a ton of money and a lot of effort. Money that a 22 year old generally doesn't have, money that a drug user definitely doesn't have.

I wouldn't even worry about it. I would however cut contact if she's going to make those kind of threats though and seeing as she's progressively gotten worse it's probably in the kids best interests, at least until she gets her shit together.

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Anonymous

I wouldn't worry. Even if she does take you to court (highly unlikely) you only need to tell them she's on drugs and thats why she doesn't see them and she will need to be tested to prove it's not true. I would also reply to the message, " Hey there, I really don't want to stop you seeing the kids but their wellbeing comes first. Once you can show us a clean drug screen from pathology I will gladly invite you into the boys life again."

Don't let her use the tests from the chemist unless someone is going to stand there and watch her pee, all they need is a jar of someone else's pee in their pocket and they have a clean drug test, my ex used to do it all the time.

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Anonymous

Please don’t stress. She will be laughed out.

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Anonymous

Let’s think logically.
She is living a chaotic lifestyle and and most likely spending all her cash on drugs. She will never ever be able to organise herself to lodge the forms, speak to a lawyer or even get the court fees together.
You have absolutely nothing to worry about.
Even if she did take you to court you have enough witnesses to write statements to keep her away from your kids.

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Anonymous

Sounds like my SIL and I'd honestly just laughed if she said this...

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Anonymous

Bahaha, not laughing at you mate but her audacity.
When you stop to think about it, what's the chances she'll spend thousands in court vs shooting up/smoking up?
This is a sensitive time for you, time to stop being nice.

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Anonymous

Definitely an empty threat. Drug addicts will say anything to hurt you. She knows this is upsetting you. Just block her number and get on with your life for now. You don’t need this stress in your life. Re evaluate when you decide its a good time.

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Anonymous

Deflecting her problems to make you look like the bad one when you react badly. So don't give her the reaction she's craving.
I don't think you have anything to stress about.
Just stay in your own bubble and try to enjoy the last weeks of your pregnancy. Best wishes!

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