3yo behaviour

Anonymous

3yo behaviour

I need some advice on how to handle my 3yo. I'm a single mum and have 100% care of my daughter and I'm really struggling with her behaviour and how I'm reacting to it. I find myself getting so angry towards her and some of the things I say are just flat out disgusting. I want to put a stop to this before it does serious damage to her if it hasn't already, but I honestly don't know how to handle her behaviour appropriately. She literally does not listen to a word I say I'll ask her to do something and she will just sit there and smile at me and I'll keep asking until I yell and she does it. She is constantly asking for food through out the day like I mean she will have breakfast and then say she is hungry and I swear I hear it about a hundred times a day. If I don't give her food she will yell, cry, scream and hit me until I do. The yelling and all that I get when I say no to her regardless of what it is. She will take her clothes off and dump them where and continuously change them throughout the day so my house is sprawled with dirty clothes of hers. She has a playroom and her own room and she is still constantly going into my room touching my things and bringing toys in there and messing up my room, it is literally the only space that is mine in the whole house and I feel like she is taking it over. I also really struggle to connect with her and do activities throughout the day as she doesn't focus and will either just nag me for food or just mess around. Don't get me wrong there are moments throughout the day where we laugh and have fun but I honestly feel like the bad is outweighing the good at the moment and I am so close to flying off the handle. If anyone has any tips or advice it will be greatly appreciated.

Posted in:  Behaviour

2 Replies

Anonymous

Time to see a psychologist to help you work through this.

I think you need help to make a parenting plan based on what’s pretty typical behaviour for a 3 year old, what isn’t, what are some better parenting and coping strategies.

It’s never a bad idea to seek help and breaking a cycle or pattern of behaviours that can go both ways is really hard. Getting some support to do that is a really good step forward. Especially in these strange times where we don’t necessarily have access to the supports we usually have.

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Anonymous

My daughter is almost 4 but sounds very similar.
Three is an age where I start explaining in more depth. "I said no more food because you just had breakfast and you need to let it settle in your belly" or "i have asked you to do xyz and you're not listening, it's making me really angry. And I don't want to get angry with you again". If you do yell, apologise and explain why you felt the need to do it. Your not perfect and you've got work to do on your emotions too. Work through them with her. I've found explaining to my kids like this, actually helps me control my emotions more too because I am acknowledging them and explaining them.

I've also started a snack box for between meals... and my daughter is adjusting it. I'll put 1 fruit, 1 musli bar and somrthing else small.... get it down at 10am and she's slowlying grasping the idea that she can be independent and eat as she wants to but once it's gone, she has to wait for lunch. It has helped with the nagging but still.some tantrums when she eats it all and has to wait until lunch. I do the same an hour after lunch.

Three is a hard age. I'd start putting more structure in the day where you encourage her to play independently in her room and times where you sit and play something in particular with her. Start reading a book before you put her to bed as a bonding time.

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