My 13 year old son was arrested today. I am a healthcare worker and had to be on shift. He decided to go to meet up with a “mate”, and spend his allowance which he’d been saving, on a “halfa” of cannabis.
He was also found with a bag of a white powder in his possession, and taken to the station in the paddy wagon.
Apparently the boy from whom he bought the weed is well known to police, he and his whole family are habitual drug users and dealers, thieves and all round derelicts.
My son was seen talking to this kid, police decided to follow him and asked if he had “anything on him”. He told them he had weed, tobacco, papers and a lighter. And that he’d found a bag of something on the ground and picked it up.
I was called away from work to attend the police station. Son was interviewed in my presence, fingerprinted and mugshotted.
Will be off to court when summonsed.
He told me on the way home he didn’t find that bag he bought it for $10 and it was PCP, which I googled and found is also called Angel Dust and is extremely dangerous. He lied to the police because he didn’t want mate in more trouble.
Now I’m going to have to tell his dad, and I don’t know how.
What the heck do I do with this situation??
Has anyone else unfortunately had this occur?
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9 Replies
Take him back to the station and tell the police he lied.
Oh I’m so sorry this has happened but it will hopefully be a good lesson for your son moving forward and hopefully stop him buying or even using again in the future.
Has he used before? Not that it matters but if he’s been using it’s probably a good time to look into a drug support group for him (Lives Lived Well if that’s available in your state)
Your mind must be a mess right now.
Lying to the police won’t see his mate in ‘more’ trouble, it just sees your son in more trouble. Ask your son if he’s prepared to be sentenced for having PCP in his possession?
I’m assuming this is a first offence, the weed probably isn’t as much as a big deal as the PCP. It depends what the weight of the PCP is and how much weed he had in his possession at the time.
I’d strongly recommend he does be honest with the police and if he has made a statement getting it amended to reflect the truth. His cooperation in this will be in his best interest right now.
As for telling his dad. Well be honest. You can’t be responsible for what your son has chosen to do. He made a bad choice and that’s no reflection on you as a parent. It’s so important though that you and his father are in agreement with punishment and boundary setting right now.
Finding out why he has done this, how long it’s been happening, the path this can lead him down etc etc are all conversation which will need to be had.
13 year old boys can be stupid and make stupid choices. But it’s not to late for him to stop the path he’s on.
Honestly his likely outcome in court (assuming he has no other history) is some community service. But as a parent I’d want some education and recover support (especially if he’s been using for a while unknowingly).
Best of luck mumma ❣️
Just tell his father. Facts. Then handle the parenting part of it together.
Are you separated?
I 'had' a kid like this. He started this destructive pattern of events at 12 when he found a few derelict kids in his school to hang out with from bad families. He's almost 30 today and since he started smoking weed and stealing at 12 , it just got worse. Councilling didn't help. He went on from weed to pills to violence, to stealing, to police records to jail, to heroin and meth to attempted suicide , and back to heroin and meth and weed again in a vicious spiral. Even when he found a girlfriend and they had 3 kids, it wasn't enough to stop him. We never speak any More . I could no longer help ..
I did all I could but he's an adult now and is responsible for himself so when he was 24 I had to cut him off.
I hope you're son's situation is just s phase. Some grow out of it, some never do.
I genuinely wish you luck. I hope your road with him won't be as hard as mine was with my own kid. I hope yours will be a success story . 💖
I feel so sad for you, sending you love xxxxx
I have a bit of insight having gone through a lot of this when my teenaged brother was in my care.
Firstly, the "I found this bag of drugs" line is as old and unoriginal as "the dog ate my homework" - the cops know exactly what's up. The white substance will be tested to confirm what drug it is (or if it even is a drug) and he'll most likely be charged with possession of an illicit substance regardless of his lie.
Secondly and I'm going be straight forward here, this incident will be a catalyst for your son.
A catalyst that will either scare him straight or a catalyst that leads him down the rabbit hole of bad choices and addiction. Either way, he's going to need a lot of support!
Assuming dad has a positive role in your sons life, just rip it off like a band aid and tell him everything asap! It's not going to be pleasant news to hear and his immediate reaction will probably come from a place of shock so give him time to process.
It'll also be wise for both of you to remember that assigning blame isn't helpful but acknowledging that there's a problem is!
I wish you all the best with it, I know this would be really tough on you right now. Hang in there xx
Police know he lied. Telling your kid to do themselves in to police is not going to teach them anything though, it's moronic to anybody especially a teenager. The experience he's had will do that enough. I would lay out what's on the line, worst case, best case, charges, costs, costs to you in lost work and time off. I would ask him what his plan is moving forward?
I think for teenagers, they need something themselves that makes them choose not to take risks. Whether it's school, work ambition, etc. He'll have a hard time getting an apprenticeship if he's kicked out of school and has a juvenile record. He's making life a lot harder for himself.
You tell his dad and you both deal with it together. Be very open to him about it and maybe get the police to speak with him about it. Show him very graphic images of drug users and explain to him how dangerous it is. Do not allow him out with those mates.
This is the rest of your sons Life and can be the start of something big that you will forever regret. Don’t let him out anywhere. So scary but can get him hooked and into bigger things. Nip it in the bud in the harshest way possible for him to realise.
Holy moly woman you need to tell the police he bought it from these ppl so they can do a formal investigation. Nip this thing in the butt now he is only 13 dont be afraid to tell ppl in his life so they can all look out for signs and keep and eye on him. Good luck hun x