Would you date and plan a future with someone who didn’t drive? Not due to a medical issue or anything, but was in a bad car accident 7 years ago and it’s frightened him away from ever getting his Ls.
Thoughts?
Would you date and plan a future with someone who didn’t drive? Not due to a medical issue or anything, but was in a bad car accident 7 years ago and it’s frightened him away from ever getting his Ls.
Thoughts?
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20 Replies
Yes I would if everything else was good.
You're not employing him ...
It obviously bothers you. You just need to consider how it will affect you into the future.
Personally, no. We live somewhere you need a car because public transportation is useless. It's selfish, but I wouldn't want to work my life around their work/social schedule so I could taxi them around. If we lived in a city with excellent public transport that they used, no problem.
If that's the worst thing about him you've got a good one!
For that reason, then yes I would. If it were for laziness or some other reason, I probably wouldn’t.
My father in law was in a bad car accident (passenger) when he first arrived in Aus, some 53 years ago. He's been married to MIL to 51 years 🤷♀️
Nope. I need a driver. Why didn't he drive before the accident?
Age?
I don't know that's why I asked.
Sounds like a medical condition to me. Anxiety? Ptsd in a more significant case?
If he was just a lazy piece, that would definitely be a deal breaker to me. As I find it really odd that family members of mine in their 20's don't have any form of independence bexause they won't get off their arse and get their p's. It's also a massive representation of what they are like in other aspects of their life.
It's clear you're are worried about it or unsure about it. In this situation, I think he has a very valid reason. And it probably most certainly isn't a representation that he is a lazy piece of shit either.
I don't have a licence.
Partly because driving scared me when I was young and partly because I came from a low socio-economic background where it's pretty common for people to not have a licence. So I had no one to teach me and couldn't afford private lessons (let alone a car of my own).
Now I'm mid 30s and figure what's the point learning now? I also save a shit load of money without the expense of a car, fuel, rego, tires and servicing etc 😂
I'm still and have always been very independent, although I live in the city where public transport is excellent. I'll use cabs or uber if there's somewhere I need to go that trains or busses can't get me to.
I'd hate to think that people thought less of me or didn't consider me to be a worthy romantic interest because of something like this, although I'm beginning to see that this is probably the case 🤔
I can drive but I don't. I live in the cbd and honestly don't need to! I don't even have a car anymore because it's cheaper without one. I'm now worried people think less of me as well.
I have a full time job I'm never late to and I don't get anyone to drive me to.
If you don't need to why would you?
We're regional, there's a bus once a day (to the depot in the nearest city) so not driving makes life really hard.
I was slow to learn to drive, I grew up in an abusive household where none of the women drove and it was never offered to me. Both brothers were taught though. My sister and I had to move out before we could learn.
I finally got my L's at 20 and my P's at 22. Having that freedom now I'd die before I give it up but if I still lived in the city I don't think I ever would have.
For some people it's really hard. If you don't have anyone to teach you then it can be really expensive getting enough lessons in to build skill and confidence. If you can only afford one lesson a fortnight it will take a long time to be ready to go for your p's. Then if you can't afford a car anyway it seems kind of pointless. Not all towns have instructors either. I didn't have family to teach me how to drive so my boyfriends mother did it, luckily for me it was easy back then. I was so nervous I had made a few mistakes but I still passed, that wouldn't happen now. I was 21 when I got my license. An old school friend didn't get his license until last year at 39.He's spent a large chunk of his adult life living in Europe where you don't really need a car. My husband's cousin also had a bad experience in an accident and didn't get his license until he was in his 40's. I know a person who has never had a license due to seizures. This is not what you are asking, I'm just giving those that don't understand life outside of their own bubble reasons why not every adult has their licence.
Have you sat down and spoken about the severity of the accident? This could give you a very good insight into why. This is not something you should be judgemental About it is apart of who he is. It's something that occured that obviously was out of his control. PTSD is a very real and big thing it's not a get over it and on with it thing. After a very serious accident myself only at the beginning of this year where my life was hanging in The balance where I could see people talking to me whom have been long gone then disappear kind of hanging on the edge of life I do not one bit blame him. It's something that either makes or breaks you. Do I see myself driving again anytime soon hell no, and if my husband judged me on that I'd be telling him to f off. Sometimes support and encouragement goes a long way. And even years after can have a very traumatic imprint.
Yes, you could help him seek professional help and get past this. Baby steps, one step at a time. Support this person in getting past this fear.
I am 37 this year and I don't drive. I have my L's but I have never had the confidence to drive. I had every intention of learning to drive, I even bought myself a car and my partner took me on some driving lessons but I am just so nervous and it is much safer for everyone on the road if I don't drive.
I have never had any problems getting myself to work or to social events
If you are even asking this question the answer is no, don't date him, he deserves better...
Nope. For me I would never date someone who didnt drive.