Hey Mummas
so recently my husband and I separated, coming on close to 6 months.
I initiated the separation for a number of reasons that I don't really want to go into.
My ex husband and I are still living together for financial reasons and until we sell our property at which point we will be using the money from the sale to go our separate ways and co-parent our children separately from that point. It is all very amicable.
Recently I have found out that my ex is dating again, specifically online dating sites and I just feel strange about it.
I am not jealous or anything along those lines, I am happy for him to go and find love again, but I feel weird that I have literally no urge or wanting to talk to anyone at all yet, let alone date.
Is that weird?
For so long my ex would ask me not to talk to anyone else because he wasn't ready to accept that I would be with anyone else so soon and then out of the blue he is looking for a relationship.
Should I also be looking? Is it weird that I am not interested in anyone at all?
8 Replies
Quite frankly, neither of you should be seeing other people while still living together and navigating a separation. It's just a recipe for disaster and a sure fire way to destroy any amicability you've developed!
Truth be told, I'd run a mile if I started dating someone that was still living with their wife but "separated" too!
And, no, you're not weird and you definitely should not be looking just because he is or you somehow think you should be looking.
You need to be ready for that, right now you're not and that's okay!
Wait for this chapter to finish before you start a new one.
we had discussed the topic in case relationships came up and agreed that the house is the kids space and any new partners would remain anonymous and unknown to them for as long as possible as the kids are still adjusting to the separation.
I cant even think about talking to people haha. I figured it would happen with him, but for some reason I didn't think he would chase it while we were still under the same roof
No point trying to date now while we are meant to be self isolating...
I think you are being very sensible. There is no way I’d even consider dating a guy who was still living with his ex. It’s just not a great idea.
I always think it takes a good year to truly finish a relationship once it’s declared over. It’s just not healthy to bring a new person into that unfinished business.
I was single for 5 years before I thought about dating again. In that time my ex had 2 serious relationships and 2 more kids. You don't need to do something just because your ex is doing it, you do what's right for you and your kids.
You dont have to do anything youre not comfortable with. :-)
Is he looking for a relationship or is he looking for “company”?
typical frickn man, controlling you & what you can & cant do, then finds his own piece of skirt asap without bothering about mutual boundaries or consideration etc! Jeez. Get out of there quick-fast & in a hurry, for you & kids' sakes make it much sooner rather than waiting on the house sale, get on with your own space & life! HE'S the desparate & disrespectful one, you are totally normal!