Hi I want to ask where I may stand legally with the father of my child, bit of a weird one anyways here goes, me and him are fine we communicate great even better then I ever thought but his g/f is very very controlling of his life he has recently gotten out of jail for breach in a few dvos that he had not with me tho with g/fs (incuding her) since we had broken up which was about 4-5 years ago I think, now she hates my guts no doubt in that, she has caused so much problems for me it's just unbelievable I have had her call police and child services and she has also damaged my property that she has been filmed by a stranger doing and that footage was given to me and I have handed to police and they have a warrant out for her arrest, but over a year and a half later still no charges I can not place a dvo on her as we have not been in a defacto realionship.
Now after all that what I want to know is as the father of my child lives with her he wants to take my 7 year old over to her place hang out together or even maybe sleep for the weekend at hers, now our child knows what has happened and what she has done I have said I don't want our child taken over to her house I don't want our child having anything to do with her what so ever as I do not trust her, she knows the police want to question her but she has not done the right thing by me and go talk to them about what she has done to my property, what i want to ask is am I doing the right thing by our child I don't trust her one bit, I believe she would go to the extent of having me taken completely out of my child's life so that I have nothing to do with the father or our child she has done nothing and shown me nothing but evil when it comes to me, I want to know am I legally allowed to tell the father I want our child to have nothing to do with her considering the history and their is a lot of other stuff but I would be here all day, I will add also I do nothing but ignore her personal attacks on me I have not done anything to her to make her do all the things she has done to me except talk to the father of my child and she has done all that because she wants to make me suffer apparently (that's what I have been told)
Please give me some advice I am going to try and see a lawyer but still need to book yet
This is a place where women from different backgrounds, cultures and beliefs come together to support one another judgement free.
5 Replies
You need to shake yourself awake!
He is not a good father. A good father would be distancing himself from this current girlfriend because he would recognise that she is dangerous, and not good for his child or himself! Good fathers don’t end up in jail for breaching orders, against anyone. So don’t down play his part in this situation.
You do need legal advice. I’d also book in mediation through a mediation service. I’d be asking for your child and him to be having contact in a very limited supervised way. Based on his history alone. Because if he was a great father and communicated well with you and valued that communication he’d be keeping the GF out of your lives.
to me he doesn't seem like a good father at all. this is incredibly toxic for everyone involved.
Go get help at Legal Aid.
No, you cannot legally dictate who he can and can’t have around his child while said child is in his care
What kind of partner would you expect a violent abusive jail bird to have?
A low grade, psycho feral.
Doesn’t it all go with the territory?
I would be extremely concerned, with his record, your child is likely to exposed to dv, the crazy ex would be the least of my issues.
When they break up, there will be another one.
I would want supervised visits with the father.
Sounds like you weren’t a couple with him, don’t understand what he is capable of, a few dvos isn’t nothing.
If you are in NSW then she does fall under the domestic relationship category as she is a partner of you ex de facto. The definitions changed some time ago.
If you’re not comfortable with it then don’t send her? Assuming you don’t have any court orders.