What's the point of life?

Anonymous

What's the point of life?

Does anyone else sit there and think what the point of life is. I'm a single mum with 100% care and little financial support from my ex. I have to work to stay afloat and I often find myself sitting here questioning what the point of it is. I seem to always be exhausted and my child never gets the best of me because I'm either exhausted or stressed. I feel like I'm paying other people to raise her and as my career grows I'm going to be spending even less time with her. I get so jealous of stay at home mums who get to spend all their time with their babies as I wish I could do that. I just don't see the point I have a lot of debts so will never own a home and feel I'm just working to stay afloat. I feel so guilty that I'm not a good mum and my daughter isn't getting the life she deserves. It just sucks.

Posted in:  Life Lessons, Parenthood Guilt, FAQ

12 Replies

Anonymous

In the reverse. I am a stay at home mum, exhausted and stressed with little support or family around. I’m envious of the parent that can go to work and bring in extra income for their family while their child is at daycare or school. My children have the life they deserve, a loving home, safety, security and the best that I can give them. It’s not what I want to give them, I would love to give them more, I would love to spend more time with them doing what they want and when they want to do it. But I can’t. It is frustrating, yes. Is it worth it, also yes. It’s not going to be hard forever ❣️

Chin up you’re doing amazing and out there somewhere is someone wanting what you’re doing xx

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Anonymous

Well youre making choices. As a single mum you could go on spp. It would be a different life. You live with your choice though, don't go hating others.

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Anonymous

Not many ppl choose to be single. Not fair! Maybe she was married and had to walk away with half the debt and full responsibility for their child. If SPP doesn’t cover that married/defacto debt she has to work.

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Anonymous

I was actually on app but in order to actually keep a roof over mine and my child's head I have to work. I was never hating on anyway all I said was I envy the people who are in the position to stay home with their kids.

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Anonymous

Are you a single mum? Jesus, it’s not a choice to work, it’s what puts food on the table. Do you know how much Newstart is, do you know how much SPP is for ONE child? You’re an ignorant idiot.

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Anonymous

You are assuming everyone staying at home can afford it and is having a lovely time. Debt sucks. Separation sucks. Honestly, if you want to be home with your kids, go on spp and do it. I do know it is well enough to cover rent and food. Again if that's not the kind of rent and food youd be happy to live with, that's your CHOICE.

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Anonymous

As a single mum doing it all, doing it tough because SPP isn’t enough to live on, you aren’t allowed to dare say you wish sometimes you were a part of a partnership and thus could stay home with your child. That’s just not normal! It’s just not allowed.
Because a small minority of those mums might be looking for work, be unhappy, have a broken toe or something,p. You’re single, it’s your choice, because you can’t live off the meagre pension, you dare to work, but you planned all this. This how you wished your life would turn out as a child, broke, tired, exhausted, carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, with no financial or emotional support. How dare you, as a single mum have a weak moment where you wish things were different and expect support here.

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Anonymous

You are teaching your daughter that you are strong, hardworking, that you will do anything to ensure your daughter gets what she’s needs. There is a lot more required in life than just rent and food and tbh, these days it doesn’t even cover that. The time you spend with her is quality, you’re doing the best you can, she will thank you one day. Tough times don’t last, but tough people do.
I’ve had the judging stay at home mums judge me at the school, they have a husband to provide but zero empathy for the fact I can’t be there to help out more. Us single mums are survivors, the ones that actually think you are choosing this life, feel sorry for them because they have no understanding, living in their nuclear family, judging others on their CHOICES. Really it’s a joke. Like we choose to have a roof over our head, food on the table, a laptop for our kids for high school, a car, petrol, clothes for our kids, the odd birthday party, Christmas, all choices apparently. Their kids don’t go without any of this stuff, but apparently we should choose for ours too, because we failed at our relationship. They will never understand, so don’t even try, it’s a waste of energy. They can sleep at night thinking, they get a pension, they’re fine, when the reality is so very different, like the politicians, I would like to see them try to survive on Newstart.

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Anonymous

The downs don't last for ever.

Free up some time where you can:
When you cook dinner cook enough for 2 or 3 days and freeze the rest. There's 2 nights you don't have to cook. Or meal prep, or batch cook etc.
Clean the shower when you're showering before work. Shampoo, soap, rinse, add conditioner, turn the water off while the conditioner does it's thing and I clean one side of the shower every day so it's quick. On Friday I clean the outside of the glass door. Weekends off.
For some time I was working a lot of hours and I had someone local come around who would vacuum, mop, clean the oven and bathroom, chuck some washing in for me or hang out some I'd washed etc so I still had some family time. It was $40pw for 2 hours and they'd do it while we were at work/school so it wasn't awkward having someone there while we were home.
Make those little family traditions that give you both some thing to look forward to like Friday night pizza, garlic bread and popcorn with a movie. Create a "chill zone" for 10 mins of guided meditation (great for winding down before bed), take Exec Stress B if you think it might help.

None of us know the point, I just believe there is one and that by constantly striving to be a good person (despite my immeasurable failures) I'll always find it easier to keep going on the merry go round.

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Anonymous

I felt that way. Except I was also "raising "others children and expected to ignore my own child at home to complete work my boss at the time wouldn't give us time to do at work. It sucks and you have to prioritize what is important to you. In the end the job was less important and I went a other way.

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Anonymous

Working full time as a mum can be hard! I was lucky to stay at hone until my 3rd was 2 and a half then just couldn't financially anymore..we sacrificed a lot of material things but was very worth it...I felt guilt about putting my baby in care...not giving her what my other 2 got....so on and so forth! But she is happy and bright and I squeeze time in with her everywhere I can...here's the thing...if you don't like your world...then change your world! ...find a cheaper house...buy a cheaper car...spend less on non essentials...whatever it takes to work part time and get the balance with your girl you need if that's what you really want..mums have so much guilt about everything
😔 I am sure your doing the best you can so hang in there mumma ❤

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Anonymous

Very few people are in the position to be a stay at home mum, especially single parents. You’re teaching your child work ethic and setting a good example. I’m in the same boat, I’m on payment plans for everything. Any leave I get from work I always try to do something memorable with my child. The way I see it if I used that money to pay bills/debts in a few months time id still be in the same financial situation so I don’t feel guilty. Life is too short, make those memories, make special time together. I even incorporate holidays as Christmas or birthday presents rather than toys as all my baby wants is time with her mummy and the memories are forever lasting. It also recharges my batteries to be a better mum. Your career is important. Try not to put so much pressure on yourself. If you don’t get the washing or cleaning done one day, who cares it will still be there tomorrow. You are not alone in the way you feel. You’re giving your child more than you give yourself credit for ❤️

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