Severe Bipolar Disorder

Not sure what I'm asking.. maybe similar experiences? Ways you coped if have experienced similar?

I feel traumatise & struggling to feel ok again & that his treatment towards me & my 13yo daughter has caused us to have our own mental health issues with bouts of extreme anxiety.

Not long out of a almost 4 year relationship with what became a very toxic relationship with a man who suffers severe Bipolar Disorder.

He was hospitalized several times throughout our relationship.. last being for 5 weeks. ( Now on daily meds & a injection once a month)

Initially he was the most caring, patient, kind, well mannered, respectful, man I had ever been with.. he hid his condition flawlessly well for the first 18mths..

Then turned into a drunken, lying, cheating, abusive man on a regular basis.

I did everything in my power to stand by him & support him as by now I was informed he suffered from bipolar.. & figured he couldn't help it anymore than you & I could help getting a cold! & me being me loyal to a fault.

I have since left him for horrendous unforgivable behavior that was always in my direction never my daughter's up until the last incident ( We didn't live together for the most part & my daughter wasn't present for the most part of his physcotic episodes)

But the last straw was him watching a dirty video one of his mates sent him on messenger in full view of my daughter.. I asked him to turn off that filth in my company before my daughter walked into the room,. My daughter ended up walking into the room & I had to raise my voice to turn it off.. he refused & just laughed continuing to watch it.. of course I was the one over reacting & the one with the problem!

We moved far far away the next day.

There were a lot worse incidences towards me that are too horrendous to put here.

I know I made a huge mistake supporting him that has basically cost me my sanity.. I feel so incredibly guilty I put myself & my daughter through hell supporting him.