My ex partner and I have a 6month old together, this past financial year he didnt have a proper job and got paid under the table a lot so when I applied for Child Support, he is only obligated to pay less than $40 a month.. since just before our daughter was born, he has a better job and is getting paid properly but CS is going from his past financial year income. He doesn't contribute any other way and is actually currently in arrears.. we don't have a court order and he wont attend mediation.. but we have worked out a schedule where he sees our daughter 3 or 4 times a weeks, up to 2 hours each time. He has been pushing me for 50/50 custody since before she was born and becomes aggressive and threatening when he doesnt get his way. He didn't even want Child Support involved. He also has another child to someone else and pressured her into 50/50 custody aswell so he doesnt have to pay child support and gets money from centrelink.. he lives with relatives, doesn't pay rent, doesn't have a reliable car or even a car that can hold a carseat. He barely helps out financially at all.. and blows all his money on takeaway, alcohol and smokes. He has never bought our daughter anything but will happily come to my house and take a million photos and post them all over his facebook so he looks like the pefect father.. this is mainly just me venting.. but also I wondering if there is a way to hold him more financially accountable for his own child? He is trying to force me to give up breastfeeding so that our child can go on formula so he can have visiting rights without me being there.. but I really want to continue breast feeding.. also that will be just another added expense, buying formula - and Im barely scraping by as it is..
2 Replies
1. Don’t give in to his demands, don’t stop breastfeeding (this is a ridiculous demand that he literally has zero control over) and don’t do 50/50. If there is no court order he has no leg to stand on here, and if he really wants 50/50 he will have to initiate mediation, go to court etc etc and fight for 50/50 and how likely is it that he will get off his ass and do this, not to mention pay for it?
2. Income wise you can apply through Change of Assessment with CSA to have his current income assessed rather than his last years’ ATI. This is a lengthy and invasive process where they also review your income and circumstances as well as his and it takes months to get an outcome. Or, you can just wait until he lodges this year’s tax return and the assessment will go up then because he has earned more.
3. You can’t force someone to want to be more involved or to contribute more financially over and above what is assessed by CSA. You can’t control his ethics and morals no matter how wrong or backwards you think it is.
4. I’m sorry to sound harsh here, but you say he lives with relatives and blows all of his money on takeaway and smokes etc..was he like this before you had a child with him? If so, what makes you think he will miraculously become more responsible just because there is a child involved? I’m not trying to be abrasive but sometimes you just need accept the harsh reality that you chose to breed with a dickhead. I’m saying this as someone who has been there and getting yourself tied up in knots hoping that he’ll change his ways is pointless, extremely unlikely and something you have zero control over. Life will be much easier if you just accept that you can only control your own behaviour and be the best parent you can be in the circumstances and anything you get from him is a bonus.
Request a change of assessment through CSA and make sure they are collecting for you. Even if you have 50/50 care, if he earns more than you he will have to pay child support. For a change of assessment you will have to complete a form stating why you are requesting the change of assessment and provide info of your income and how much you’re paying for bills, etc. He will then be contacted and they will explain what info he needs to provide and when it needs to be submitted by. They will send him a copy of the form and any evidence you provide (you can black out any personal details you don’t want him to know). He will then provide his evidence that will then be sent to you. They will then look at all the evidence and make a decision, asking for more info if needed that will also be sent to the other person. I went through the process recently when my ex requested a change of assessment as according to him I didn’t earn enough last financial year. I hadn’t worked the full financial year plus the pay rate he did his calculations with were for a qualification and position I don’t hold. CSA called me, explained what was going on, told me what info I needed to provide them with and when. All the documents, including his paperwork and evidence, were sent to me. I filled out the paperwork then uploaded it online with my evidence. Nearly three months later I received notification of the outcome. It was a relatively easy process. Don’t let him bully you into doing what he wants.