Hey guys
3 years ago my sister lost her son through child protection, (drug issues)
I decided to take him on and have had him since.
She’s had more since and I’ve been contacted by child protection and asked to take on again.
I’ve agreed, but feeling overwhelmed. It’s a lot to take in. I’ve also got 2 of my own, so it would be all up 4 kids. I’m certain I can manage, but it got me thinking are there any online or support groups for people in similar situations?
It would be nice to talk to people in similar situations who can relate. Given that the process for most part is all up in the air, you don’t know whether you’re going to have these kids for 6 months, 3 years or even 18.
4 Replies
I have not been through this so I'm not much help to you but how disappointing that you have to find these things yourself, you would think you would have been told of support groups from the beginning. Even if privacy is an issue they could still start an anonymous support group like this one. I hope something out there exists for you!
I also just want to add that you should not feel like you have to take on the extra child. You need to think of the kids that are already in your care and how having an extra child is going to impact everyone, including yourself. An old school friend of mine just keeps having babies and they keep getting taken away. She's just had baby number NINE! She has not raised any of them beyond their first two years. If this is going to be your sister you can't possibly keep taking in her babies, as hard as it is to say no there are times you have to.
Best of luck to you and you're amazing for taking in 2 kids that aren't yours, takes a special person to do that!
There’s a lady on facebook and Instagram called aussiemum_to6 go and follow her. She has 2 biological kids and has taken 4 of her sisters kids. CPS showed up at 2 am one night and the rest is history. She is open and honest and is always happy to chat through inbox.
She may also know some support groups. She is like 5 or 6 years into this journey.
I took on on my brothers 2 children 5.5 years ago(drug issues also) 3 months after a kidney transplant. The youngest was only 6 months. It was a lot all at once. I am currently not aware of any support groups but I also haven't asked or actively seeked them out, ive been quite lucky thst one of the childrenthe oldest boy webt to preschool with was in the care of his grandparents and thankfulky that friendship has lasted now they have both left preschool. They are an amazing source of support for me and I'm hoping myself for them. They understand the flaws and injustices in the system and when I'm having a rough day can vent away and they get it. I am happy to talk if you would like to reach out?
I have been through the same thing you’re experiencing. As much as I love my nieces and nephew I wasn’t able to provide 100% care that they needed. In saying that, I have registered as a foster carer for respite and have set up a bedroom for them, so when they stay with me it feels like home. I have committed to a whole weekend a month plus school holidays and when ever extra I can. It’s ok to be selfish and consider your own families needs first. I have a child on the spectrum and I am a shift worker. So for me, I would have to adapt my sons whole routine and literally quit my job.
My nieces and nephews are thriving with their foster parents. They get all the attention they need and I’m now able to have direct contact without going through DCP. It has been a very long and tedious process it’s been worth it. Good luck, it’s not an easy decision, but at the end of the day it’s not your fault they are in care. 😊
I’ll also add, there are some processes when dealing with children in care. I’ve had to do courses and prove I am capable of being a respite/foster carer for my nieces. The children should have a social worker who can walk you through the steps. I guess if reunification is off the table then the department will be looking for long term placements.