SIL has aggression problems and I'm unsure where I stand

Anonymous

SIL has aggression problems and I'm unsure where I stand

So my SIL has been my BFF since before (only by about a month) my husband and I started dating (4.5 years ago). Bit of background - both her and I have very similar mental health issues and struggled most of our lives with them but I have chosen to do intrnsive therapy to help me and I have come along way, where she has only seen a psych on and off for the last few years and abuses her medication for fun, recently started doing party drugs again etc. Now I am not judging at all I'm just trying to give you an idea of how she can be. Recently she has started to get some pretty bad anger here and there and I have tried to help her when she has asked as it's something I've had to learn to handle myself - however I have never put my hands on anyone, where she has before her brother, partner, mum, attempted with me once but I stopped the situation. The other day she called me losing her mind and when I got there she jumped at her partner and grabbed him around the throat choking him, then she smashed out a flyscreen on her window and threw her phone into the road. But she couldn't tell me what caused this. A neighbor called the police then she went to yell at the neighbors for "bring nosey" until I stopped her. Things have been progressing in more violent out bursts over the last month to the point where she will fly off the handle at her partner or her brother (my husband) infront of anyone. I have tried to be understanding of how she is feeling and what is happening but over the weekend when I saw her do that to her partner (who is a lovely guy! ) I just lost a lot of respect for her. I don't think I can be friends with someone who does that to her partner and feels no need to apologise because she is a girl and she has mental health issues - it is domestic violence and it's not okay!! I've tried to distance myself from her a bit because I just don't know how I feel. When do you stop making excuses when someone is spiraling out of control but anytime we try and support her or get her support 'we don't love her cause this is they way she is because of her mental illness' - which I know is a load of shit because I have worked so hard to overcome my issues with anger and emotional instability. I guess I'm just at a loss - what would you do? Or wouldn't you do? Would you approach it? Leave it alone?

Posted in:  Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health

6 Replies

Anonymous

If she’s not careful she will get sanctioned. Mental illness is not excuse for violence. I’d e contacting the mental health triage team in your area and if she is violent like that again call police or ambulance.

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Anonymous

Meth! Meth! Glorious meth! Nothing quite like it for boiling the blood!

I'm sorry 😂 This is not a funny situation at all but this is what it sounds like it could possibly be. Has she lost weight recently? Sores? Funny jaw movements? Saggy face skin? Seems like she's had 10 cups of coffee and can do things twice as fast as normal? Chats to herself? If it is meth this is a bloody hard road for everyone close to her. Nobody should be putting up with violence from her just because she is a woman, call police at every violent outburst. The more she has against her name may mean the more help she gets when she lands in a courtroom, even if it means a stint in jail it could be enough to get her to wake up to herself.

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Anonymous

Poster here I have personally been addicted to meth years ago and I can tell you it isn't meth, she isn't exibiting the signs apart from rage. it is just poor mental health

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Anonymous

Well you said yourself she's on drugs, meth addiction can be pretty well hidden to everyone around you. What kind of mental illness are we talking about? There aren't many that end in continuing physical abuse of other people. If drugs aren't involved I would be surprised especially as she has only just started doing it, if it were from mental illness alone she would've had these episodes before.

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Anonymous

Yes you do need to distance yourself and if you witness anything call the cops. People need to hold her to account and not back down when she claims mental health.

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Anonymous

She currently has a mental health issue, It’s not an excuse to act in unacceptable ways.
If she’s not willing to help herself then you or Other members of the family should contact mental health support.

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