Help me, im desperate

I dont really know what i want from this but here i go... Im depressed. I hate my life. I am so mentally and emotionally exhausted, i cry most of the day and night. Some days i wonder if im better off not here. I have no intention of suicide, i have 2 amazing kids that keep me going. But I still wonder.

Ive been to councilling. Found no help there. I cant afford anti depressants. My husband is retraining because he cant find work in his industry or its minimal hours as a casual. I had a job, but got made redundant the day before i was to return from maternity leave. We had a second child (husband was working full-time and life was good). Our second child has a rare chronic disease and is in and out of hospital. So at the moment i cant go back to work. I was trying to work from home but that's been unsuccessful.

We are struggling to stay afloat. Trying to pay for everything (we pay all bills fortnightly) as well as medical bills for our baby (disease is not recognized by NDIS, and only about half the treatments are on medicare). Plus my husbands training. He is trying so hard to get secure work, its heartbreaking to see him struggle.

Now we have just found out that our house is being sold but owners want to renovate first. So now we have to move out by the end of January. With absolutely no savings. We dont get the housing bond loan because we have the rediculous robo debt hanging over our heads because my husband worked casually and they have income averaged for the year instead of looking at what he actually earnt. We reported correctly and have pay slips to prove it but we are waiting for them to process it. We have already gone to the ombudsman. We have nowhere to go.

My husband and I take turns eating. Our kids ALWAYS have food, we eat their left overs. After bills are paid, and our kids get their bits, we are lucky to have enough left over for travel money for my husband to get to TAFE.

We have been to food bank, charities, etc. Charities around here are stretched to the limit. DV, substance abuse, single families and homeless get priority. There is a lot of that around here, so there isnt a whole lot left.

Rentals are hard to find, there are a lot of people looking for homes and not a lot around. Most rentals around here are getting sold. This makes them expensive. We have to stay in the area due to our baby's treatments.

I just want to curl up and die.

We sold our couch, washing machine, and our bed base to pay for our baby's medical treatments. Ive been hand washing everything for almost a year. Cant afford nils loan.

Forget Christmas. We cant do anything. We will be lucky to have toast to eat. My kids wont get any presents. My oldest is 6 so they will be devastated (Christmas is huge in my family, so they will feel it).

I feel like ive failed. Failed as a mum. Failed as a wife. Failed as a person.

I dont know what to do. Everywhere we turn there is a road block and i cant see a way through