ADHD & children playing.

Anonymous

ADHD & children playing.

This is a pretty tough question to ask & please forgive me if I don’t use the right words.

My son has a street friend who has been diagnosed with ADHD. They play all the time. I always seem to have the kids here at my place after school. The street friend also has a brother who struggles to talk but as of late becomes very violent towards his brother with biting, scratching, kicking/slapping & swearing. My son is an only child, a very quiet kid who likes to keeps to himself. When the kids do get together at mine it usually ends up with tears I guess you could say, dobing & not getting along. My son looks after his things & he has toy cars (Supercars) that he takes very good care of, my son doesn’t like it when the cars end up being played with roughly. Now it’s not just cars, it’s pretty much most of his toys. They usually disagree a lot while playing & the other child will come in & say “John wants me to go home”. So I ask.. Do I need to try & explain to my son that the child is a little different to him & if so how? My child isn’t perfect either & has developmental delays for his age. Gets quite scared around the little brother & feel that’s why I usually have the children at mine. I just don’t know what to do & how to go about things. So this isn’t a once off, it’s all the time. Any advice or help would be appreciated.

Posted in:  Behaviour, Kids

4 Replies

Anonymous

Rules. They can only play in x room or out back. Make sure son has put anything they can't play with in his room first. Get him to choose 2 or 3 things they can play with.
Then stay close, observe and help them.
Clear behaviour expectations, about treatment of toys, how they play with each other, guide them through issues before they get big (be fair to all, especially your son they have to respect his things to play there) and clear warnings and consequences. If you xxx then you will need to go home. Once firmly, once stronger and 3 times they're out.
You can start backing out once you see they all know your rules and can follow them.

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Anonymous

Only allow one friend at a time, so then you have a reason for sending the brother home without it looking like you're singling him out.

Get your son to help sort out his toys and have one toy box that is his "sharing" box. If he doesn't feel comfortable putting any toys in there you could get a heap of cars from an op shop or Buy and Sell! Keep all other toys in his room and make his room off limits.

This will be great for your son to learn to deal with a kid like this honestly, it can build his assertiveness and how he handles complex people, skills he can take with him forever. Teach him how and what to do when he doesn't like something the other kid is doing. There's some great books on assertiveness and resilience.

If it still gets too much limit them coming over to one day a week.

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Anonymous

State clear physical boundaries of play and behaviour and try eat/drink and play outside if possible. Stay close on hand. Space out visits so no one gets burnt out. Use the WITSS to help your child stand up for themselves - Walk away, ignore, talk about it, solve it, seek help.
If your child is older,

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Anonymous

This is partly why I have an outside only play policy with the neighbourhood kids. They can play on our swings, trampoline, kick around our footies, ride our bikes and scooters etc but then I don't have to worry about my house getting destroyed and my kid's special belongings getting damaged - it also seems to keep tiffs to a minimum too (seeing as most of the tiffs start over toys lol).
On top of that, my kids then feel like they have an bit of an 'escape' if things start getting a bit wild, they can just say "I'm going to go inside now guys, see you later".

I feel like in your situation though, shorter plays may be better and pretty close supervision so you can intervene, mediate or redirect where necessary.

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