Kids Smart Watches and Ex’s invasion of privacy

Anonymous

Kids Smart Watches and Ex’s invasion of privacy

Hi, my 2 boys, 7 and 8 have just come back from a weekend with their dad. They’ve both received Apple watches so he can ring them vice versa anytime. I’m not comfortable with this. I was telling them off for not doing homework before and didn’t even know he was on their wrists listening to my rant. He’s the type to track them too. What rules do you impose with this in your home? I feel there too young. My partner feels like it’s an invasion of our privacy and he’s in our home. If I give them back to use at dads only I’ll look like the bad guy. My partner said throw them out but I feel like that’s an over reaction. I just don’t like them calling him multiple times an evening, whenever they chose at their age. I’ve started a ‘rules’ list, one call per day, in bedrooms, ask me first. Feel like my ex should of discussed first as we agreed no mobiles until ten minimum. Thoughts please?
**** in our custody orders we signed off on last year my solicitor even added a max 3 times a week clause to FaceTime kids as ex would obsessively ring boys. Feel like this is a breach and do I address with him and advise my rules and that he can’t ring them whenever he wants disrupting my time with them.

Posted in:  Life Lessons

10 Replies

Anonymous

Why can't they ring him whenever they like?

Why can't he know where his kids are, if that's even what he's going to do?

I think you're over reacting a bit because you got caught out having a go at the kids. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't like my ex listening in on our day to day lives either but I also wouldn't stop my kids using the watches, I would just put some rules in place. Any calls are done in their bedroom or if they take a call around other people they must tell everyone that they are in a call. Tracking is turned off if it ever becomes a problem with the ex being too nosy about where you have been etc. I must admit I know nothing about smart watches so don't know if all this applies but make sure you are given any passwords and able to adjust settings on it if need be and be able to restrict internet access.

like
Anonymous

Firstly, I would riot if my ex threw out 2 perfectly good Apple watches rather than just returning them to me. Does your partner live in planet earth lol? They are so bloody expensive!!

Look, I think it should have been discussed first but what's done is done.

I would be making it clear this does not change the custody orders and the calling schedule will remain the same. I think you'd be within your rights to be turning location and tracking off whilst they're at your place (though be aware, this will render the find my device feature useless should the watches get lost).

If it becomes a problem then return them to dad.

like
Anonymous

I thought the same! Throw them out?????!!!!! You idiot! 😂 who would even think of that

like
Anonymous

You can take them and put them away while their at your house. Or give them back before they leave his. No, he doesn't get to invade your house and the kids don't get to overrule you regarding calling him. Your time, your schedule.

Yes this contact definitely counts as contact in your mediation agreement. Three times a week, at the time scheduled, you can get the watches out and they can call him. Or you can use your phone/tablet. It is YOUR choice in your home.

like
Anonymous

I used to do this with phones. Perfectly reasonable

like
Anonymous

I totall get uou!! I'm already frustrated if my partner rings up his ex and I continue to talk and she listens to my crap. I find it very invading and I think you should have the watches removed on those times the boys are there and let them have phone times. Simple

like
Anonymous

My partners ex bought their child a phone without discussing first. It caused a bit of drama with excessive time spent talking to mum and sneaking around when said child is only here 2 nights, but after a few weeks he was over it anyway. Havent seen it for weeks!

like
Anonymous

I wouldn’t like it if my ex bought my children phone call compatible smart watches either. I would not be ok with him calling them whenever he wants or vice versa. Young children can use that to their advantage and it can open up such a can of worms between parents, and not to mention it’s an invasion of privacy. I would put them away until scheduled calls, or even put it on aeroplane mode or similar until scheduled calls.
I think it’s somewhat overstepping the mark, and I think that it is something you should both consent to.

like
Anonymous

I would tell him that they are not to come into your car/home. They are very expensive bits of technology and you will not be taking responsibility of them during your time with the kids.

What happens when they get lost or broken during your custody time? No way.

like
Anonymous

Wow! Really?! So you get to see and talk to your kids every day but dad can only talk to his kids on his 3 court ordered days per week.

I would be a bit upset that he didn't discuss with you first but I think you are being reasonable to limit to only once a day and in their bedrooms.

I would also talk to your ex about giving the watches a months trial, to make sure they aren't interrupting their normal routines too much, such as bedtimes and school/homework. I definitely wouldn't be taking them or throwing them away

like