Family next door

Anonymous

Family next door

Hi lovely mums....we have a question. We have what we call the “neighbours from hell” living next to us. The dad is in his fifties, the wife is Chinese, and they have three young children. In our small town their house is nicknamed the second dump, as he goes to the town dump regularly and brings back stuff that just gets dumped in his back yard. He has chickens that live in the house. But what concerns us....and I’ve told him too, is the way he shouts, effing etc., also awful other words, screams actually, at the children, (and his wife, who also screams the same back), and now the children are ....(2, 5 and 8), using the same screaming foul language. (I told him this would happen). The whole town knows about them. We are always polite to them...he teaches English online and the payment goes to an account in China, he told us, so otherwise he must get Centrelink maybe....I know they have little money as they dress in old tatty clothes, and whenever there’s an event in town they go for the free food.
We, and the neighbours, are concerned mostly about the children. There is no way he would ever hurt them physically. What would you do?

Posted in:  Behaviour

11 Replies

Anonymous

Please remove the age and the race of the people you are posting about. They aren’t relevant to the situation.

If the house is unsanitary and they are verbally abusive I’d make a report to child protection. Let them take it from there.

I’d also be planning to move.

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Anonymous

The unsanitary living conditions and language is concerning, make a report if you're that bothered by it.

Everything else is nosey, petty, judgemental, neighbourhood gossip. Their ethnicity, source of income, financial status, clothing they wear and events they attend supposedly for the free food is neither hurting anyone or remotely relevant.

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Anonymous

You sound a bit nosy actually. How does the whole town know about them? How do you know he's getting stuff from the tip and putting it in his backyard? How do you know the chickens live in the house? How do you know they only go to events for free food? Does that mean everyone else only goes for free food including yourself? If his business is teaching English then it makes perfect sense he has an international bank account so he can receive payments from his international clients. It's really odd you know this much about him, you're obviously being so nice to their face to get all this info then running around town with it. What they wear shows absolutely nothing about their financial status, my in laws will only buy op shop clothes and wear them till they are literally falling apart and they are very well off! If it all really worries you that much make a complaint to the shire about the backyard and the chickens, then complain to police when you hear him yelling and swearing.

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Anonymous

I take stuff from the tip too, it's called recycling.

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Anonymous

I go to events for free food!

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Anonymous

I wanna know where all these free food events are coz I'd be in, everywhere I go it's like $27 for a sandwich 😂😂

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Anonymous

That's the beauty of small towns, they have more money per person to throw around so they can still throw a free sausage sizzle or something at the end of community events. Or a plate full of food for $5!

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Anonymous

Do the kids act like they are abused or is the home a health hazard? If not, nothing about this is anything other than their lifestyle not aligning with yours. My in law has a farm and a chicken that goes in the house. Her house is very clean. Also, I yell at my kids, but they're happy and loved. I also swear but my kids don't because they're adult words. If this family allow it, so be it.

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Anonymous

I guarantee my neighbours have heard me rant and rave a few times, I'm positive they've probably heard me drop quite a few F-Bombs over the 10 years I've lived here too.

Thank God they don't judge me and my parenting based on my worst moments or feel the need to rubber neck over my fence and tell me what I'm doing wrong!

I feel like their unconventional lifestyle is what's offending most of people in your town (and probably you too tbh) rather than the kids well being.

Having excessive amounts of junk lying around would concern me though, only because it makes a nice shelter for snakes and rodents which is potentially dangerous for everyone. I think if that is the case the local council may need to be made aware so they can issue any clean up notices that may be applicable.

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Anonymous

We have an abusive neighbour, we complained to all kinds of organisations. The best thing we did was get a private nuisance order on him.
He is now not allowed to be heard abusing his family from our house.
It wont stop him from abusing them, but we cannot hear him.
It seems acceptable in their family.

Local comunity solicitors are free.

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Anonymous

Hi, I’m the op on this. The race thing....when they first moved in, three years ago, the wife and I had long chats in Chinese, as I have lived there for many years. The husband told me he works for a Chinese company and gets his pay paid into a Chinese Bank account over there. When they got their chooks, and their ducks, and their rooster, it did affect us, as the coop was placed at the fence nearest to us, instead of the regulated distance from a house. They had 20 + birds when only 5 are allowed. They removed the coop, and now the birds live in the house. We have since then paid a lot of money to get rid of the vermin that are now frequenting our place. And there is a shocking stink coming from their back yard, and we never see the children playing outside until gone 10 pm. We don’t complain aBout this as there’s no use. This is just incidental to my concern for the children, it’s just a background to life here.
But when I was alone in the house, he came round and tried to intimidate me, was threatening and this was just because we cut back the growth of their pumpkin patch on our side, which had encroached on our place by 2 metres. We didn’t touch their patch. Unfortunately for him he picked the wrong person, I stood up to him, and then told him about his language...and his screaming abuse...and how the parents are the role models for the children. He apologised and he honestly did try to cut back on the language for a while. To be honest, it just became background noise that we ignored.
We own our house, as he does his. We want to have a good relationship with our neighbours. We have never complained to the authorities except when their rooster was doing its thing several times in the night. The council got them to remove the rooster as they are not allowed...didn’t know that!
He has told me his wife does nothing in the house, nor for the children, and he does everything. His now 3 yo daughter is gorgeous, and chatty, and when she starts effing etc., we tell her she can’t talk to us until she talks properly. They all get verbal abuse regularly....we had got so used to it that we ignored it, far from being busybodies....but we had family come to stay recently and they were horrified to hear the language and the screaming, and wanted to do a report to Child Services! I said, no, I’d ask for your opinions first.
How do we know all this stuff? Because they tell us, and the fence is just a country wire fence, so we can see the chooks and the children clearly, plus the whole very small town knows because when we do our volunteer work we get asked where we live, and we tell them we live next to Bxxx, who has lived there all her life, and knows everyone, she’s a lovely old lady, and she has been distressed about them, even scared of them until I told her they would never harm her! And then they say, oh next to the second “dump”. Oh and having lived in China myself, I know that in the villages the families do live with their animals, even their pig, ...I visited the parents of a work colleague who lived this way. So no I’m not racist, nor do I even care that they may be cheating the system, goodness knows the pay for teaching English online is piffling, so he wouldn’t be getting much over there.
Seems the main consensus is that we put up with it and shut up. We have decided to keep cordial relationships with the parents, and keep being friendly with the children. And I will definitely stop my relatives from reporting them. Thanks to every one of you lovely mums...

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