Long one -
How to let go of the hurt, anger and pain?
My son was involved in a car accident last year he was 15 years old, he was a back seat passenger, he suffered TBI (traumatic brain injury) he now is unable to talk, understand language, read, write (known as Global Aphasia) and has behaviour issues. To look at him you would never know anything is wrong.
We go shopping he gets overwhelmed has a meltdown we get stares, evil looks, eye rolls the comments under the breath etc, it absolutely breaks my heart, why are people so bloody judgmental, clearly a kid of his age does not act like this if there is no underlying issue, I want to to scream at people “Use your common sense”
I have so much hate for the driver, he was speeding, on his learners and was to busy getting his story straight to call 000, he also took photos at the scene while the helicopter was loading my son in. Never not one time has be reached out to us, to see how my son is / was, never apologised. before he was officially charged he went out and got his P plates so was behind the wheel of a car while my son laid in an ICU bed in a comer fighting hard for his life.
His so called mates have all disappeared, his gained weight (due to medication) and his once beautiful, fun kind personality is gone.
My heart just constantly aches for everything his lost ( friends, family, opportunity to finish school, get a job, drive a car, and realistically a girlfriend)
I miss my son so bloody much, life sucks and everyday is hard. It’s been over 12 months and I still have not accepted it, I still pinch myself to wake up. It’s like I am on the outside watching this all happen, it’s like I am banging on the wall telling myself to wake up.
When will I finally be able to accept this “new life”
When will my anger leave
When will I just me “happy” again.
Please know I know we are lucky his alive and physically good and yes I know there is people out there a lot worse off then us, but I still have so much pain, hurt and guilt in my heart.
I just want to wake up.
In no way was my son an angel, he was 15 thought he knew everything and was invincible, but he deserves better from these people involved and he didn’t deserve this, if he was the driver I know he would of been at the hospital daily visiting the kid he had just hurt, he would of copped the anger from the parents, he would of owned up to the police and would of attended all interviews, I know he would of had so much remorse, as he was a typical hormonal 15year old, but with a heart
I am Also seeing a physcholgist, but sometimes it all gets to much and I need to just write it out and see others opinions.
Please be kind.