***PLEASE DONT JUDGE***
HOW DO I LET MYSELF BE HAPPY AND TRUST MY SOUL MATE WHEN EVERY OTHER PERSON IN MY LIFE HAS LET ME DOWN AND I NEVER THOUGHT THIS SOUL MATE STUFF WAS EVEN REAL BEFORE HIM?? I am a 46 year old single mum of 3 kids and haven't had a
dated anyone longer than 3 months since I left their dad 10 years ago. I even gave up sex all together for 3 years coz I didnt love myself anymore. Until this year when I lost all my weight and felt sexy again... and joined tinder. 2000 requests in week and I was overwhelmed but back in the game. Of them all there was only one that I really wanted.. my tinderella slipper. But I had a few dates first because I thought... too hot for me, too young, gotta be a player, lives too far away, He was date 5 and our first date lasted 2 days. It was like magic We told each other our deepest secrets that first day. I cant explain the connection.. thats why I called him my soul mate. My heart knew automatically but my head just cant believe it... So I keep wreaking it. Breaking up with him before he can with me. Ive always done this in relationships. Sabotaging , Thinking the worst, Creating problems, Blaming him for my behaviour and just generally being impatient, bitchy and suspicious with a tendency to flip out. I know he is THE ONE dont want spoil this one!!! HELP!!! He always comes back,, he said he always will, but I wanna enjoy him rather than break up with him every week. Poor guy. Its only been 6 months but he's the first human to understand me and make time for me in a long time, that I haven't felt awkward with and couldnt wait to get away from. How do I stop myself?
HOW DO I LET MYSELF BE HAPPY AND TRUST MY SOUL MATE WHEN EVERY OTHER PERSON IN MY LIFE HAS LET ME DOWN AND I NEVER THOUGHT THIS SOUL MATE S
HOW DO I LET MYSELF BE HAPPY AND TRUST MY SOUL MATE WHEN EVERY OTHER PERSON IN MY LIFE HAS LET ME DOWN AND I NEVER THOUGHT THIS SOUL MATE S
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Relationships & Marriage
6 Replies
Counselling. That’s all you can do. You can’t love him the way he deserves to be loved until you love yourself. Harsh but true. He doesn’t deserve the bitch switch being flipped for actions done by others against you. Get some help for you to address this behaviour before you destroy him, yourself and your relationship. True love walks away when they are hurt because sometimes it’s safer to love from a distance waiting for them to love themselves.
You can do this!!! You deserve this!! You are worthy of love, to be loved and to love yourself xx good luck
Awww thank you for the support and advice. Not harsh, just real truth. ! Im thinking bout all I have changed this year so far... maybe I really can do this. I really wanna be better n im gonna try my hardest xx
You CAN do this!!! I don’t know you from a grain of sand and I believe just with what you have written you can do this. You know what you do. Your not in denial of your actions. That means at some point you have self reflected on your behaviour and know it’s not okay. That’s a positive sign for growth and change. Take away the ‘maybe’ replace it with I can and I will do this!!! You’ll be okay but it won’t be easy. Change is hard even with the best of intentions. I know this because I am you and you are me. I did the same. In your weakest moments you’ll lapse and push away again its self preservation. No one wants to get hurt. But it’s changing your mind to allow yourself to believe you are worthy of love, to be loved and to give and have love. You WILL do this and you WILL be ok xx
Get yourself to therapy! Understand why and how to change the behaviour! Fill up your cup. Your obviously still insecure LOVE yourself first! Good luck xx
You start with counselling. I have a history of doing this myself.
You fixed the outside, weight etc. but the inside is really what you need to do the work on.
Outside attracts people, inside makes people stay.
Do the work if you want a relationship, with a psychologist.
I also worry about the whole soul mate connection, this usually happens with narcissists, ever heard of charming man syndrome?
You seem vulnerable, and narcs feed off that.
Please be careful, watch for red flags with Prince Charming.
Sometimes our gut sees what our brain doesn’t want to.