Unpopular opinion post

Anonymous

Unpopular opinion post

I need to vent, I need to do it anon so I'm doing it here. You can go ahead a judge me that's fine, but if what I'm going to say helps just one person realise they aren't alone then I'll feel better.

Everyone goes on about people with mental health issues and how we should support them and be there for them etc. I don't begrudge them that at all and I never would.

What about those of us who live with people who have mental health issues. No shit, it feels like no one gives a single fuck about how we are feeling.

It's fucking hard! It fucking sucks. And it's fucking exhausting. I'm so tired. Tired of coming home to a mess because someone has had a meltdown and thrown an adult sized tantrum. I'm tired of the 'depression nest' that will get tidied up tomorrow.

I'm tired of being the one who does every single God damned thing around the house. I'm tired of working my ass off just to fix doors and walls that get broken due to the adult sized tantrums.

I'm tired of going out knowing it's a bad day and being terrified of coming home to find them dead. I'm tired of watching the man I love with all of my soul waking up in the morning and seeing the disappointment in his eyes that he has to face another day.

I'm tired of watching him struggle, I'm tired of him feeling even more awful for snapping at me or breaking a door because he slammed it. I'm tired of people telling me I should leave him. I'm tired of seeing him hate himself for not being able to work. His body is broken as well as the mind.

I'm fucking tired of no one ever asking me how I'm doing, if I'm OK, if I need anything.

I'm not OK!

Posted in:  Mental Health

10 Replies

Anonymous

This is why most marriages with sustained mental health issues that aren't mild end in divorce. It's demoralizing

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Anonymous

This is not an "unpopular opinion post", this is a cry for help because there is only so much a person can take..Plz get to a GP ASAP!

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Anonymous

Yes! Get some counseling for yourself! After my dad was diagnosed with depression my mum would constantly call me to vent. She had several family members she would talk to, but I was the only one who told her to get counseling for herself. I could listen but I didn’t have the skills to help her sort through her thoughts and feelings and give her strategies to deal with the day to day issues.

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Anonymous

As a partner of someone with some very heavy mental illness issues I can’t agree. I post on here only 3 weeks ago and I got tremendous support. I see my support person regularly and I don’t hide it from close friends or family if I am struggling. If anything I think I get more support than he does.

It is hard, it’s fucking gut wrenching hard. But we as the well ones have to build a support group of people and tell them “hey I’m not coping, can you please help”. People are not mind readers and they have their own shit going on. And when we are having a good run we should check in on our friends.

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Stacey Hunter

Aww Hun, please reach out to somebody. Get in contact with beyond blue or an organisation like that they may be able to give you some help on how to cope. Big hugs for you x

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Anonymous

I moved out of home as a 16 year old kid because of my mums battles with mental health. I know my situation wasn't the same as yours but I absolutely know how relentless, confusing, confronting and at times, gut wrenching it can be to deal with a loved one's mental illness day in and day out.
What I think - a lot of people haven't lived it like that. They mean well, but often they really don't understand that mental illness doesn't just affect the person with the diagnosis, it impacts that person's entire network (particularly those closest to them).

You've shined a light on something really important here, there needs to be more support for people who are impacted by a loved one's mental health issues - but then, that's the crux isn't it? There's not enough support or services for those with the mental illnesses to begin with, let alone for the families of those people...

I don't really have any advice for you because I honestly don't know what the solution is, I just wanted you to know that I hear you. I know you're not okay but I pray that you will be.

Take care x

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Anonymous

You don't have to live with that. Its abuse. The reason behind it makes no difference, well actually they mostly are mentally ill or suffering, so I should say the fact you're compassionate makes no difference to what you're experiencing and living. I agree it's a cry for help, please seek it, for yourself.

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Anonymous

This post is why I make sure I have my own mental health professional..
It’s bloody hard to be the one that has to be strong all the time.

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Anonymous

You don't have to live this way. You choose to. And with that comes responsibility of looking after yourself first and foremost. You need to join a support group, if there isn't one, be brave and make one because you aren't the only one feeling this way.
You need to get a mental health plan for yourself, no excuses. If you can't afford therapy, ring free helplines to vent.
Your husband needs further treatment. What you have given is a list of things that KEEP occuring. He is not taking responsibility for his mental or physical health. He needs to be reassessed by a psychiatrist they are the only health professionals trained extensively for mental health disorders and medications. If he hasn't done absolutely everything in his power to help himself then you need to make a choice. Do the same everyday, or walk away.
YOU CAN NOT SAVE SOMEONE WHO DOESNT WANT TO SAVE THEMSELF.
I say this as someone who was your husband. I did what he did and my husband stood by me, the difference is, I hit my rock bottom and got the help I needed. Will your husband do the same? Or will he continue with his excuses?

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Anonymous

This isn’t unpopular, this is my fucking life at the moment

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