Should I just walk away?

(This is a long post I think it’s me making sense of the whole situation myself)
I have been married for 11 years have 4 children 3 to my husband
My husband has suffered with his mental health for majority of our relationship he has his whole life.
I stood by him through all of it just supported him and tried to help him through it all.
It was tough I put up with allot of mental abuse but I did it as he was my husband and believed better for worse sickness and in health and I didn’t want my children to have seperated parents as I grew up with seperated parents.
I worked very long hours in our home (family daycare) to support our mortgage and living expenses school fees and so our children could have a great life. He would just spend his money as he pleased
M or gambled or drank his pay.
It all fell apart one night I just had enough my husband also worked and worked shift work and had been away for pretty well the week and finally had a night off.
Him being selfish as he has been majority of the time wanted to go drinking with friends.
I looked at him and said I am done.
I told him It would be good if you could stay home and help me with our children or cook dinner or spend time with the kids we have missed you all week and have been looking forward to spending some time with you. He snapped and had a massive melt down (tantrum)
That night the night before our wedding anniversary we seperated, I left with the kids.
He moved out within the week just like that it all fell apart.
I listed our house for sale as he wanted out I was left to clean it up presentable for sale while he just walked away partying and drinking and gambling he started seperating everything the very next day I said I was done all because I didn’t let him go drinking with his mate which he always did.
I got the house sorted and went away with the kids to just get away from it all.
On our holiday away I had a breakdown I no longer wanted things l, I realised things belongings and having things had been important to me but I no longer wanted anything I no longer wanted our house massive house our Rental house our cars any of the things I worked so hard to get.
something inside me broke the night we seperated he said some very nasty things to me he knew they would hurt me. I just can’t forget.
A few months went past we still spoke and both spent time together, we both still loved each other done how he managed to move back in as he had hurt himself.
Things remained the same nothing changed the house sold I quit my job I put everything in storage and started travelling trying to get myself and my children’s lives sorted. he followed but we remained seperated, but things didn’t change to much he would drink allot and struggled with his mental health. He didn’t put in too much effort and would blame his health.
Our eldest not his biological child but has been his dad his whole life ended up in hospital as emergency which ended in brain surgeries which has since turned into 10 in just a year.
It has thrown another massive hit to our family, due to the surgeries we have had to grieve our son as he is no longer the same child he requires care for the rest of his life went from perfectly normal 19 year old to needing someone to be there as he had lost short term memory.
It hit both my husband and myself hard but my husband struggled which caused his mental health to deteriorate more drinking increased abuse increased as he couldn’t handle life.
We returned home and I told him we had to live in different houses the past few months had been terrible and I had allot to deal with myself and my son and my children.
Through all this I still loved my husband but had all the abuse the walking out and everything with our son I just can’t get over I have lost myself and had started to resent my husband.
We have remained in each other’s lives and are very close but I feel so hurt to everything that has happened I just feel it is easier for me and the kids to live seperate to him.
I do allot for him probably abit to much more than most would do as he has no car (due to his own fault he lost the money for the car that he sold through gambling) but it hasn’t bothered me I just do it as we are close friends he is still my husband just living seperate.
He wants to come live with us again he has tried over n over to come back hasn’t worked out we don’t seem to get along or agree on things anymore, but he asked me can he come back or if it looks like he will come back sometime soon before he spends money on setting himself up.
He has started to change drinking and gambling has stopped still angry and has temper, but better than it ever had been seems to manage it allot better.
But I feel like I have so much to work through and don’t want to return to a life that I hated so much and was so miserable.
I said no I don’t think it work and not sure when or if it will again.
He has since had a go at me saying it’s just over and it hurts we will never get back together and I (me) havnt got myself help to get through all the past so it’s obviously not a priority and he can’t wait another year. Because I am not getting help he has no choice but to walk away.
Just like that he’s ready to walk away and I am left to make sense of it all.
We have been each other’s support we talk to each other allot have been there for each other quite close just living seperated we have the kids together and have been getting along really well.
I guess not ready to let go or move on with our lives.
We both have no interest in moving on with another person.
I said it’s not all on me and if he feels that way and that it’s his choice not mine.
A few hours later he messaged saying this sucks.
I haven’t replied I feel like it’s ok for him to just dump me and tell me I need to get help with the past and he just walks away.
I stuck by him trying to help him through things and majority of why I have lost myself is from him but he can’t be there to help me through any of it.
He’s obviously ready to let go and move on.
I should just leave it that way and not text back (looks like we can’t even be fiends) so I can get over our relationship and be there for our children which he isn’t thinking about.
I should just walk away too?