As a child my husband got a cholesteatoma (tumour) in his ear. This type of tumour eats away at internal ear structures. By the time it was discovered it had taken most of the major structures within the ear leaving him profoundly deaf in that ear. Fast forward to now, and working in various jobs including sheet-metal fabrication and building construction he is now dealing with industrial deafness in his good ear. He's had many surgeries on his bad ear to control regrowths of the tumour and is under the care of an ENT specialist. He's been told by the specialist that he needs hearing aids. But he won't get them. He's self-conscious about them I think, and possibly concerned about it affecting his profession (sole-tradie so deals with clients directly). He has no sense of echo-location (can't tell which direction a sound is coming from), has to have the TV/phone/computer volume up really high, doesn't always hear what our kids are saying to him and can't hear me yelling at him from the next room. When I broach the subject of hearing aids to him, he gets offended. He's only 41. He gets hearing tests every 2 years and is due for one next month. I know it will say his hearing has deteriorated further. It's affecting us aswell. But I don't know how to tastefully urge him to get the hearing aids. Anybody else dealing/dealt with anything like this. Especially with a younger, more proud individual. Your stories and advice would be much appreciated.
5 Replies
I’m 25 and got
Hearing aids four weeks ago, no one can see them as they are now so
Small, unless your looking in my
Eat you wouldn’t know
He probably doesn’t realise what he is missing out on, tell him to
Trial them for two weeks to
See the difference
Would he talk to someone who wears a hearing aid? Has he seen modern day devices?
I know so many people who wear hearing aids, most people would be oblivious to the fact.
Does your hubby understand that his ability to speak will deteriorate with his hearing? As his speech gets less clear this will become a bigger issue than the hearing aid and will effect his work.
I think he needs to have a good chat with the professionals about the effects of not getting the hearing aid.
It's not exactly the same thing but my grandmother has needed a walking stick for the last 10 years, she also refused to use it because she didn't want to look like an old lady (she's only just gone 70).
Last year she had a pretty catastrophic fall, resulting in a fracture, a full joint replacement and 12 months of physiotherapy. She'll likely need to use a walking frame or a crutch for the rest of her life and it's taken away so much of her independence!
Had she have been using her stick that day, chances are she may not have fallen.
My point is, i think the time for tact and subtleties has passed because prevention is far better than the alternatives. He'd be crazy to not take full advantage of this amazing medical technology, hearing aids can be really discrete these days as well, not like thw giant devices that were the only option decades ago!
So I'd probably start being really straight forward about it (men can be absurd about their health anyway) and address it for what it is:
If he loses his hearing completely he also loses a lot if his independence and probably his career - that's going to hurt the pride far more than wearing a hearing aid, not to mention how it would impact you all as a family.
It's potentially a safety issue too, if he can't hear you yelling from another room, how can he hear the children if they got hurt or a car coming whilst crossing the road, sirens whilst he's driving and probably countless other things we don't even think about.
I'm sure he probably knows all of this anyway, he may just need a firm push.
Good luck x
suggest a cochlear implant maybe?
Cochlear only work with specific types of deafness and you still need an external device