Wanting more

Anonymous

Wanting more

Happy but feeling like I need more, I've been married for 15 yrs together for 17 and have 4 beautiful kids we started dating when I was 17 I had broken up with my first proper bf who I thought I'd end up with but a whirl wind romance I married my husband, he is great, kind supportive everything I could ask for but I feel like sexually we have grown apart we try new things but I'm submissive always have been he tries to be a dom but doesn't understand it, I have lately found myself fantasizing about other men like how would they be would they be a dom or not, we talked about going to a bdsm club he said he would learn but I don't want him to change, I think maybe I'm broken I've only been with him and my first bf I was always too shy, I don't know what to do but feels like the one part of my life isn't there I don't want to cheat but I need more then he can give how do I change the way I think before I distory my family?
Ps I know I could have it worse he could not be loving and sweet and kind, we also have a great sex life toys anything I want so I don't need to spice it up

Posted in:  Relationships & Marriage, Self Care

8 Replies

Anonymous

I feel like this could be a case of "the grass is greener"... it looks greener on the other side of bdsm and how someone else might have the right amount of dominance in the bedroom... truth is, nobody else would probably forfill that fantasy for you either... because that's all it is... a fantasy.

If I've learned anything about my sexuality in the past few years, it's that there is a massive bold line between fantasy and reality. While I find the fantasy of being spit roasted and a threesome with another female, it's actually something I wouldn't be a la to go through with in reality. I can imagine it and watch all the pork about it but as soon as I've become close to the act, I actually feel sick.

This might not be the case for you at all. I just thought I'd give a different perspective. Maybe you've glorified it all in your brain, and maybe it wouldn't be as amazing as you've imagined it to be. It's easy to get caught up when you've spent so long with the same person.

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Anonymous

The grass is very rarely greener. You know your have an amazing partner. Maybe take a few steps back learn to appreciate what you have over what you probably won’t ever get

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Anonymous

I think you are restless. This can be a totally normal feeling in a long term relationship from time to time.
This isn’t a need, because you’ve done without it for 17 years. It’s a fantasy and it’s totally okay to have a fantasy. You need to reconcile that a fantasy can be exciting but doesn’t mean you need to act on it.
You might find it helpful to talk to a counsellor.
As someone with a lot of experience sexually, there are very very few doms in the world. Out of 40 guys I’ve met 1 and he was mostly talk.

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Anonymous

If it's something he is willing to look into solely for you, jump on that shit! It's not changing him to simply learn a skill. I have been with my partner 23 years, noone before him and don't look at it as missing out on something. I consider it getting things right first go. Let him have a go at being who you want.

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Anonymous

If he is open to it, great. Otherwise, keep it as a fantasy.

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Anonymous

Don’t destroy your family over a fantasy that will probably never live up to the reality.

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Anonymous

I feel like I could have written this myself, my hubby and I have been together for 7 years now but I have been having an online affair with a guy who lives interstate for more than 12months who is very dominant. It almost ruined my marriage when I told my hubby what was going on but he is now trying his hardest to fulfil those sexual desires that I have.

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Anonymous

I get it, dominance is something that has to come from within and if it doesn't come naturally, it's not the same... but give him a chance, maybe send him to a dom to learn how to do it without actually, seriously hurting you

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