Very vain question I know! But any IMs there who is taller than their partner and hate it? My partner and I have been together 4 years... talks of engagement etc are in plans I once wanted the big fancy wedding and marriage and now am dreading it all because I am taller than he is... and not by much he comes up to my nose! It makes me so self conscious and I feel dirty (no idea why it makes me feel dirty but does) I hate date nights now or going out as I miss wearing heels etc. everything else in our relationship is great he’s good with miss 7yo I just can’t get past the height/ wasn’t an issue at the start but is becoming more and more of an issue for me and how it’s always on my mind
Are you taller than your partner? How do you stop it bothering you?
Are you taller than your partner? How do you stop it bothering you?
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health
9 Replies
Are you looking for a way out? I'm 5 foot 1, and have never accepted a date from someone under 6 foot. I'm not attracted to short men at all. That said, you've been with this man for years and didn't care about the height difference initially.... So that makes me think you are unconsciously finding something not to like because you've lost interest? After all, your heights haven't changed.
I never dated shorter men. My hubby is only just taller but he is taller hehe... I get where your coming from completely
You just live with it. I'm not taller than my husband but he is over a foot taller than me. I'm over it to be honest, I want to dance with my husband not on my tippy toes, I want to take a photo with him without having to stand on something or him having to crouch. I'm tired of standing on tippy toes just to kiss him. But, I married the man I love and I just deal with the fact that our height difference is huge.
If you want to wear heels then do it - my brother married a woman taller than him and she still wore whatever she wanted! It was never an issue because the secret is no one else cares. I find it concerning that it makes you feel dirty and I have to agree with the poster that asked if you are looking for an out because after 4 years this should be a non-issue.
I'm 5ft 7 and my husband is 6ft . But only could I not be with a partner who is shorter than I am , but I also couldnt be with one who weighs less than me too . It's probably a subconscious thing but I can't take a shorter , lighter man seriously . It's the image of protection I want, I love big , tall, strong men . However I wouldn't be with a shorter one for four yrs before I made it an issue. Its either a problem from the beginning or it isn't. Not four years later. That's the part I'm struggling to identify your point with .
I'm short and my partners tall, I hate it actually because I feel like his kid when we go out 😂. I think you have left it too late to make it a problem now, that's the kind of thing you decide before agreeing to a date. He's just spent 4 years of his life with you when he could have been finding his right partner.
I honestly couldnt even fathom allowing this to be a problem in an otherwise great relationship.
You must've had some level of physical attraction to him initially, why's that changed now after 4 years?
It truthfully alarms me that this makes you feel dirty. I know that feeling all too well from past experiences with bad men, I would never associate that feeling with someone I love (particularly over something that is beyond anyone's control).
So i think you need to ask youself:
A. Is this a deep seeded insecurity on your part, stemming from gender stereotypes or impossible societal beauty expectations that women have had imposed on them?
**Some female celebrities who are considered some of the most beautiful women in the world are considerably taller than their partners - take Cameron Diaz as an example**
Maybe take a leaf out of their books and just embrace it.
B. As a few other people have suggested, is this you looking for an out? Are you as genuinely happy in this relationship as you think or want other people to think you are?
Does the thought of spending the rest of your life with him scare you?
Does long term commitment in general scare you?
And most importantly,
C. Do you love him?
I honestly think talking this over with a counsellor or therapist would be hugely beneficial for you.
When you love someone unconditionally, you love them warts and all.
If you think of the day when you make the ultimate commitment and think of his height, maybe he isn’t the one for you?
I agree. And feel the same way!!