I'm just reaching out.. i understand having children changes your body but i am really struggling and hate how i look.
I have had a troubled history with pregnancy and loss and 2 births.
My question is ... i am conscious of what i eat, input to output, i could grow here but don't think what i eat warrants me to be over weight. I also am active, and excercise 2 to 3 times a week.
I have gone from a slender figure of a size 8 to 10 to a 14 to a 16. I have struggled with this for 3 years now. My bmi places me in an over weight category, but i also don't like my body and this affects me mentally, socially and sexually.
I've seen dieticians, gym training and programs, spoken to the doctor , considered medication but have gone down that track yet. Tracked my diet and eating, excersised more and i don't seem to make any gains. I am stuck here. Thyroids and bloods appear normal when checked.
Is this the new me? I don't know why i can't change my body and i am really trying.
2 Replies
For me, my weight as a mum is more than that pre-kids and I think it comes to a point where we need to accept that a certain weight is not the goal.
I’m probably 7kgs heavier than pre-baby weight (small size 8 pre baby) but am so much fitter and stronger than pre-baby weight. Having suffered from an eating disorder when I was younger (not my pre-baby weight) I really think the focus should be more on being healthy and strong. We teach our children, in particular our daughter, that it is important to eat healthily but that indulgences are important too.
We teach the kids that the goal is to be strong and exercise helps us be strong. Strength comes in different forms and for me, as a longer distance runner, my strength is my stamina. Interestingly I am a lot fitter now than when I was before and my body, although wider in places, is a strong body which has given birth to two children but also has fought illnesses and endured challenges.
My advice is to focus on healthy lifestyle by diet and exercise. Not too sure what exercise you are doing but for fitness could you up this to one extra time a week? It might not help weight but would mean you are exercising more days than not. I exercise about 60-120 minutes 5 days a week at a reasonably high intensity (I still exercise one more day but lower intensity and time) eat a reasonably healthy diet but drink a fair bit of beer! Even with the amount I exercise I don’t lose weight at all.
Unfortunately you can't exercise away consistent high food intake. Eg 1x Maxibon = 40 min high intensity running :(
Understanding the true food value of what I eat really helped me get a balance on food portions and healthy vs junk. Some things you would think are healthy are just so calorie dense, I went and found alternatives.
I don't have time for exercise and have a very sedentary life. I keep the weight off (wobbly size 10-12) by concentrating on eating small portions across the whole food spectrum and trying to choose unprocessed fruit&veg and lean protein as the 'go to'.
A dietician may be helpful in identifying some better choices around the foods you prefer. I find the Weight Watchers app excellent in giving food values and alternatives. These days they concentrate on health and well being equally to weight loss. I don't know the specific cost, but for me, it's something I can use in my time and apply to my lifestyle (and also completely anonymously). I'm not advocating WW specifically - it's just a tool I found that works for me.
I have also had to get used to the 'wobbles'. Without exercise I have had to accept that my body shape is different, even if my weight is the same. Things that used to look good, just don't. And I've had to change my clothes style. This is the new normal as my life just doesn't have time for exercise at the moment and likely won't for the next few years...
Don't be too hard on yourself. Life throws us all curve balls. Things we thought we'd never allow come along and we just have to make do with our best effort. Celebrate how well you are doing equally as much as giving yourself motivation to change. Don't under estimate how far you have come and what effort you have already put in.