This is a bit of a vent.
Been married nearly 10 years. There has been no love or care for several years. I've had a tough time mental and physical health for several years with no help or support from him. Honestly it feels like he has no emotions or empathy.
After an operation things got really bad and he moved out. We had a few sessions of marriage counseling but really it was separation counseling. He's been living with family for 3 months. 99% of the time I've contacted him to spend time with the kids (he plays on this when saying goodbye drags it out and makes it worse then doesn't ring or contact them for days).
Anyway I have struggled doing it all alone mostly with juggling pick ups and drop offs as I often have to do overtime. He drops the kids off one day a week, never gets them ready just drops off. I do feel so much calmer and happier in general. I feel like I can't go back to the anxiety, stress and depression that I felt when I was with him.
This weekend we went away for an event we got an apartment and had separate rooms. I feel like I did this for the kids but it all went pear shaped. I just have so much hurt and get so triggered by him. He's honestly just an asshole and attacks me about everything. I said to him I'm doing the best I can with the kids and where has he been in the parenting for the last 3 months,! I think I've done a really good job with the kids.
I felt so shit yesterday and the worst part is he thinks going on a date is going to fix everything but then in the same sentence criticises everything I do and makes arrogant comments. I believe he just doesn't like change and it's easier to continue with the unhappy marriage.
I'm no angel but I have tried for years to work things out but it was physically and mentally killing me.
How do I co parent with a person like this???? I have tried to talk to him about being amicable but it always blows up. Yesterday he told me it was disgusting that I raised our situation and how to deal with it while we were alone at this event. I thought it was a good time as kids weren't around. The kids HATE the arguing and have been happier the majority of the time.
I want to move to where I have family support.