Parents marriage

Anonymous

Parents marriage

Hi ladies ,

It’s a bit long so I’m sorry. I am in a situation that I’m not sure how to handle and need advise or if someone has been in this position- what you did how it turned out etc .

My dad has been leaving comments on other woman’s photos on Instagram about how they look and being quite flirtatious. They are random mostly older women overseas. But it’s things that you should only be saying to your wife or not at all. They were also commenting on his pictures which is what led me to look further and in my the newsfeed.

(I live at the other end of the state to them)
I rang him and asked if everything was alright with him and mum , he said yes why has Mum said something. I said no , I’ve seen what you’ve been writing to other woman on Instagram and I want to understand why. He seemed embarrassed and said I know it’s wrong and I shouldn’t do it to your mother; Social media is addictive, yada yada yada...realising he stuffed up. He said he doesn’t like the way Mum speaks to him and he’s tried talking to her about it. (They are not big communicators in this area)
When my parents have an issue / fight / argument etc they are instantly defensive towards each other and snap at each other. Silent treatment , nothing gets resolved then it’s like they stew on it so the next thing they argue about is kind like a carry on from the last thing.
I said this is how it all starts. You get a little attention from someone and then when that’s not enough you look for more to fill that thrill. If you don’t already you will resent Mum and she will feel it.

Later that day he deleted the accounts he added and rang to thank me because it shows I care. He needed that kick up the butt and that he will stop.
It’s been 3 weeks and within that 3 weeks he’s been adding other accounts and liking the pics but sometimes the random comment as well.

I know if my mother was doing the same thing he would be done and wouldn’t trust her.
What do I do ? I feel I should call him again to snap him in line and actually make him listen to me and put effort in to make things right. (Sitting in front of the tv on their phones is the usual. I have had to pull them up a few times when we visit because it’s what they do when we are there as well.) If it happens again after that , then I will let Mum know ??

Do I get involved in my parents marriage ? Do I stay out of it? Do I call dad , see if he is going to lie to me about it? Do I tell mum? I know I would want to know if it were my husband but I also know that things would never be the same.

I don’t want to destroy something if it’s fixable. I don’t want to be the reason to break down the marriage if it does. I don’t want them to be unhappy. I love them both so much , I don’t want them to be hurt by whatever I do.
Help. Am I overreacting ? I am devastated and need any advise please

Posted in:  Relationships & Marriage

5 Replies

Anonymous

Your parents marraige is there marraige. You just be there daughter.

I would just unfriend your dad on social media so you don’t have to see his behaviour.

If your mum is on SM I’m sure she sees his behaviour.

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Anonymous

Sorry to say it sounds like he's a lowlife but he's giving the shit excuses to you to get you off his back (we don't communicate, she won't tell me, I'm sorry I just needed a kick up the ass I'll stop now etc etc etc)
In short you're being played and man will do what he wants to do, believe his actions not his words.

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Anonymous

If it were my parents, if probably give him one last chance to pull himself in line or let him know you'll have to tell your mum what you've seen.

I wouldn't be able to keep this type of information from my mum.. as my mum and I are close. And your Dad is putting you in an awkward situation if he expects to keep it from her.

Or you could delete him as a friend and let him get on with it.. But I feel like that wouldn't sit well with me personally.

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Anonymous

Oh this is tough!

I actually saw my married uncle do something similar. Ages ago i saw him "like" a fb page called Leaked Snap Chat Nudes. He didn't realise it was a public page I'm guessing and was quite interactive.

Being that i don't have much to do with either him or his wife aside from being social media friends, i just let it be "not my monkeys"...

If it were my parents and i had a good, close relationship with them I'm not sure what I'd do! I don't envy your position at all 😔

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Anonymous

Say you tell her and they separate. What will there life be like? Will they be financially independent, or after property settlement and possibly spending their super on a hoyse/apartment will they be poverty line on centrelink (now or down the track). Do you think him commenting on photos means he'll go out and have an actual affair in person? I think I would say something or choose to shoosh depending on all the circumstances you haven't mentioned

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