I've been with my partner for 5. 5 years so far
I think I have been through hell and back sorting out his trust issues. All this time he was always worried I cheat on him, how many Szenarios we have had where I get accused even though I never go out or were dishonest. I have been judged for my past even though he would have done the same thing. I felt miserable but I couldn't leav ehim, the love for his good side was bigger and stronger.
However there was a few incidents that actually made the tables turn. He always done things he didn't like me to do. Add new people, comment, like. Speak to random on a night out. So eventually I started to get pissed off at him that he can do it all and I can't. I wasn't really annoyed at the fact that he may have added a person he met On the weekend or through work but I just felt unfairly treated and wanted to make him feel just like that.
Eventually I found out that he was writing with an ex on a night out, she has been told by his sister that he was single and thought she hit him up. I Think he could have told me about this message but was probably worried I be pissed dof since he held that convo going.
He deleted it all without giving me a chance to read it. This happened with another two girls Convos in the same year and I started to distrust him. I don't believe in deleting messages.... I sometimes would even found out a white lie which I can't stand and things were never in plain sight.
After all this drama of me getting in trouble that he was actually doing, and lots of arguments, I decided to leave. I think that put a wake up call in his head. And if someone ever thinks, people can't change, they can in fact. The past year has been so great. We started from zero and even though I find it hard to trust him, I try and try and try.
So the other day at a birthday, some random pulled me up and said to me that my partner has been cheating on me all along with several people, backpackers at the club, some girl even dropped him off in the morning.
And everything relit... Those nights where he came home Showered at 5am when the club shut at 3 and it's a 30 min drive, all this projecting that I felt he was doing....
I went to him And said that this is what I've heard and his reaction was 'fuck no, what have you been doing all night hey?' I thought this was a really odd reaction, after creating my distrust in the first place, he could have been reassuring or such but angry and pointing the finger at me?
He wants an apology before I go home or anything and I really am at a loss at what to do. I trust his word but I also can find truth in what's been said. What can I do? I can't proof anything and someone could just be making it up. I don't know what to do
9 Replies
It sounds like there's a very good chance he's up to no good. You don't need proof, you need to understand that you're never going to trust him and that's ok. And that's enough. You don't owe him the rest of your life, not when it's spent like this.
Of course he’s been cheating. Why do you think he keeps accusing you of cheating?
He thinks you’ll cheat because he is a cheater!
It’s classic. It’s never occurred to you that he would cheat because you are NOT a cheater.
Stop putting your energy into a guy who can’t respect you. You’ve been with him for 5.5 years and he is still going to clubs and coming home at 5am?? It’s time to WAKE UP. You have all the proof you need.
I’m pretty sure when you wrote in before you were told he was cheating on you. Don’t live your life in limbo like this. You deserve better.
You’re still with him?! We all said last time yes he’s cheating. Please love yourself enough to leave
Chuck him in the gutter, did he ever apoloise to you?
He’s a cheater and he’s gas lighting you! Get out and get out quick.
He’s been projecting and accusing you of what he’s been doing for years and I actually can’t beleive you went back and gave him a second chance.
I havnt posted anything prior to this one so I'm not sure if you guys are mistaken with another post?
Either way, this relationship should be done!
Although the mistake of spelling scenario with a z is a huge give away.
Girl, you've spent 5.5 years with this dude that you're never getting back. Do you really want to waste another 5?
This is not how healthy relationships function. Good relationships are not this hard!
No doubt about it- he IS DEFINITELY cheating on you and probably laughing it up with his friends about how he is fooling you.
Dump this A-hole. Now.