He cheated and I’m left wondering why. Why was I not good enough for him? Was I not fulfilling his needs, wants and desires? Did he lie when he said he loves me? Am I ugly? Is my body not enough to turn him on? Did I not make him happy?
Then the insecurities rise their ugly heads, the negative thoughts are getting too much. He mustn’t think I’m good enough, he mustn’t be attracted to me. How could I have been so stupid to trust another man with my heart again?
Rather than blame him, I look for my own flaws, my own faults and now when I look in the mirror that’s all I see. I see the insecure woman staring back at me wondering “what’s wrong with me?”.
That little bit of pleasure for him has opened a lot of pain for me. So before you cheat ask yourself how it will make your partner view themselves. How it will affect their self esteem, their trust, their thoughts, their future. Your little bit of excitement will cause them to doubt themselves in ways you never thought of.
We all have one shot at this life, don’t use that to hurt others. Treat those around you how you want to be treated.
7 Replies
So true, I hope you can heal from the pain you are feeling.
My hubby has always said through and through if he ever feels the need to cheat he will break up with me first and doesn't care how much it hurts me to do so. I hope he stays true to that.
I have never been in your position so I can't say I know exactly how you feel. I just wanted you to know that you are enough, you are worthy, you did not deserve to be betrayed and disrespected like this and most importantly - his cheating is a poor reflection of him, not you!
The cheating is never about you. It's not the fact you didn't put out enough, that you're not pretty enough, that you aren't good enough ect ect.
He cheated because he isn't man enough to see past those attractions towards other woman (let's face it, everyone is attracted to people regardless if they've been married for 100 years.. we are all going to look but should know the boundries). He cheated because he thought with his dick. Because he thought he was entitled to do what he wants, that he didn't need to abide by boundries. That he was superior. He cheated because he doesn't have the balls to leave, yet thought he could still act as though he had. He cheated because of poor morals and life values. He cheated because he was thinking about himself. He didn't consider anything regarding you. He was only thinking of himself.
Cheating is never about you. It's about him. About his fucked up values, or lack of.
This!!
From my experience they cheat because they are ruthless and ugly on the I side they are the ones with horrible hearts horrible brains or lack of otherwise you would never hurt your partner mother of your kids or kill your kids happy ever after ! , the pain is awful and I have lived it and can only associate it like this
Its like living with a big human cancer they suck everything from you until you strip yourself bare and degrade every sense of yourself to make sense of their disgusting actions they blame you make you feel it's somewhat your fault whilst silently patting themselves on the back for a job well done then you have to go around living with a dead person who still walks around you its torture but until you strip yourself bare and then realise you are amazing and they are the low life disgusting self obsessed sack of lies you will slowly say get out and go ! No one should ever be put through this hell because that is what it is !
I take pleasure in the fact each day my body is a temple and he will never jepordise my health again with disgusting females who have no respect for their body , mine brought back 2 diseases and still has no clue of the dangers these men are animals and I am so tired of the increase numbers these days if you ain't happy piss off stop trying to ruin young kids and good womens lives with such childish disgusting immature behaviors
People cheat for all kinds of reasons - its not just because they are a crappy person, although cheating is a crappy thing to do. Sometimes they have all the same self worth feelings, they feel crappy about their lives even though they have an amazing husband/wife, they dont see it. It can be the whole "Is the grass greener" type of situation. People are complicated.
One year on and I still feel like this. We are still together and he is now doing everything “right” to make me feel loved etc. After almost 20 years together, most of them good, I still love him. But exactly what you said and very low self esteem. So hope to get past this as some others have