Are there any other mums out there who struggle to show affection to their child? I have more than one, but i have one specifically challenging child ( who probably needs it most) and i simply struggle it often makes me feel just ill.
It isn't like this with my other children, it feels so natural and loving, they come to me, i go to them. I'd like this with my oldest too.
My oldest is 9.
Even a ruffle of the hair, just seems awkward. He has autism and spd. He has never really liked touch and i often find his touch at times inappropriate. He often goes straight for the breast with his hands or his face or he smooches like a cat purring at your leg. Other than that generally there is a lot if tension and behaviour issues and they say 20 touches a day have healing properties. We definitely aren't close to that sometimes 1 seems like too much.
Id like to work on me. I've spoken to his OT about it but I'm wondering if theres something i can do to make it better.
A kiss to the forehead he will wipe away, roll his eyes and well seems like he hates it. And well i feel his getting to an age where a kiss just seems a bit awkward atm and a hug well even one armed hey buddy seems to feel super forced and not natural.
I guess im just looking to a safe community who might have some ideas to build a better bond.