My partner won't add me on Instagram. I haven't had it before and I recently signed up to see what it's all about and added him but he says he doesn't use it anymore and won't accept my request. I feel deeply suspicious and its killing me. We have had to live separately for a little bit so it could just be that. I know he has been on Instagram because I saw a couple of months ago on the recent activities on the tablet we both were using at the time, I didn't think anything of it at the time because I wasn't checking him out just looking for an old website I visited. Anyway what would you do? I didn't realise Instagram had a messaging part. I caught him on a backpacker dating app after our child was born a couple of years ago when a notification came up on the tablet. I have had trust issues ever since because there was no closure he denied the whole thing.
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OK, so if it was just the instagram thing I'd maybe think it wasn't that weird. I don't follow my partner on twitter because he retweets dumb shit lol, he doesn't follow me on instagram because it's not his scene. I can't even remember if we're Facebook friends lol. But that's our personal choices, not because one of us won't "let" the other follow/add.
So the fact he's refusing to friend you on social media platforms is a red flag, particularly since there's past history of him crossing boundaries. I can't think of a single valid reason to point blank refuse to add your significant other on social media.
He's broken your trust and you'll never fully trust him and you are right that this is fishy. For someone in his position he should be an open book, and he is not - again .
He’s given you no reason to trust him and every reason to distrust him. I’d trust my gut on this one.
He is probably fucking or at least trying to fuck other people. Should have called it the first time he broke your trust. People don’t change, they just get better at hiding stuff
I am op, he says he doesn't have it downloaded on his new phone. I felt that if I insisted he download it and add me then he would get angry and I'd never find out what's up.
Not long after our conversation he has insisted I turn on my active status on messenger which I have never had on before but I felt I couldn't refuse as he was accusing me of talking to other men, so now I am really worried.
So he accuses you and doesnt trust you and can spin you around until YOU follow HIS demands to prove yourself??
You know how unhealthy this is, don't you?
Classic, flipping it back onto you.
Do you really want to live your life with someone you can’t trust? Is your sanity worth it?
Turn it back off. a) he wants to know when you're online. b) who the actual fuck does he think he is MAKING you do shit.
Your suspicions are valid! Please don't let him try and twist this to make you feel crazy and the next time he insist that you're talking to other men, offer your phone for him to go through and read. In return for him giving you his.
Also, he doesn't need to install insta back on his phone. He could just log in to his account using your app. Or you could tell him that it would be super convenient if he just gave you his account to save you from adding family and friends to follow and to save them from adding you.
He is a cheater... get snooping without his knowledge. If you find things don’t tell him. I wouldn’t trust any partner that wouldn’t allow me on their social media pages. Why wouldn’t he want you on it.??? Alarm bells.!! I’d say he is shifty and up to no good.
I caught my ex out several times on dating sites chatting to other women, he said it was just talking but I still felt it was emotional cheating. I was wrong to snoop but kinda glad I did. I always forgave and believed the promise of never doing it again...finally he physically cheated on me.
You need to find out the truth and if that means telling him you won’t trust him til he shows you then maybe that’s what it has to be. If it is worst case senario then you have to work out what you can forgive. I hope everything works out for you!
GO WITH YOU GUT.. IT DOESNT LIE.. UNLIKE YOUR PARTNER. CHECK SEARCH HISTORY, PHONE EVERYTHING! ID SAY HE IS UPTO SOMETHING.
There’s a great ladies relationship coach on YouTube and on Facebook who talks about this topic. If you want to join the Facebook group it’s called Greta’s High Value Women’s Group or something like that. YouTube Chanel is Greta Bereisaite. Highly recommend you check out her content.
Make another account in a different name...send him a request and see what happens. All the best x