When will I feel like "me" again?

Anonymous

When will I feel like "me" again?

I have a 1.5 year old who is a dream and that I absolutely adore. I very much identify as an "attached parent", breastfeeding, co-sleeping, etc. I love it all but wonder when/if I'll ever feel like more than my son's mum again? My son doesn't sleep well; however, I work part-time and have good family support and on the outside, I've got my sh** together, but I'm truly feeling burnt out, like I'm lacking identity and I am terrified to repeat this process (have other children) while also longing for siblings for my son. I guess I need validation that this is how other mums feel? And is this just a permanent feeling now that I need to suck up? Or will/when does it get easier?

Posted in:  Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Self Care, Parenthood Guilt, Health & Wellbeing, Kids

6 Replies

Anonymous

Around 3 I started being more independent. Four even more. Then from there you're away- they sleep better, go to friends, you have lots of time and need to get your own thing going again.

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Anonymous

It gets easier when you stop following a parenting style and just parent your own way. Honestly, as kids get older, it's not easier. You just have different problems /pressures

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Anonymous

I don't believe OP is struggling with their parenting style, rather just parenting in general. I think no matter which "style" you associate with, parenting is not easy!

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Anonymous

Totally agree. Though attached parenting by default requires more 'give'

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Anonymous

Maybe unattach a little? Makes things more cruisy.
When my son was that age I worked three days a week too, but I didn’t feel as burn out.
I think it was because every night I put him in his cot at 7.00 to go to sleep, that was it for the day. Had a few hours to just relax.
On my days off, I put him down at 1.00, again for his afternoon sleep where I would have 2 to 3 hours alone time.
I never had a parenting style, just did what suited me and that did.
Also remember, you’ve only been a mum for 1.5 years, it’s a new job, it does get easier and you do grow into the role.
The first few years you keep thinking about what life was before kids, then the next few years you wonder what life would be without them. You just don’t want to imagine.

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Anonymous

OP here. I totally get what you're saying; I'm just not sure how. It feels natural to me and I love having him so close but then I literally get 0 minutes to myself (apart from my trips to/from work) so at the same time I'm yearning for some independence. I'm just holding on to the hope that as he gets a little bigger, he'll get a little less needy 🤞 You're also so right about thinking about life before... some days are just harder than others. I'm tired. Thanks for listening to me vent 💕

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