Most of you are so nasty when commenting on people’s posts for help. You all know how bad words can hurt or even kill, so many people are dying because I people like you. You have made me feel like the worst mother in the world, I cried and cried for hours upon hours thinking I was what some of you described me as, I was in such a bad place, turned here for help and honestly that bad place I was already in went to something so much worse. I was so close to just ending it all. Be f^*king careful with your I’m a perfect mum attitude. You all told me i was the issue well most of you are pretty insensitive and nasty. Imperfect mums need to monitor this abit better cause if this keep escalating this may tip someone over the edge. It almost did it to me.
Im strong but sometimes some people just don’t strength to keep going. So stop judging and start helping work from your heart it’s not hard.
Thank you to all who have a heart which isn’t many on here.
12 Replies
I don’t know which post you refer to but I’m so sorry you went though that. Nothing is worse than being attacked. I have had similar, tried to support a step parent, and based on my comment was told as a step parent I over stepped the mark and was prob the reason my stepdaughter has no relationship with her bio parents. Few weeks later made a post (with obviously a lot more information) and was praised for stepping up for her when her own parents wouldn’t 🤷🏻♀️ So what am I? A shit person or a good one?
Regardless I think you are right and people do need to be kinder with their words. Sometimes blunt and direct isn’t what a struggling mumma already needs.
Much love and hope you got some solid and loving advice even if from a few xx
Don't be surprised if this post doesnt make it to the forum . I posted one similar to yours months ago and it was deleted before it reached the page because I called people out for their rudeness. All as that did was devastate me more as it was ignored and was left off of the main forum . Anything controversial never gets posted in the group.
I don’t read the Facebook post responses too much, however I haven’t seen any posts of late that have turned nasty and put anyone down.
Everyone has valid points whether you want to take them on board or not and that’s up to you to decide.
When posting on here I always think to myself - have I given enough of a back story to set the scene up? Have I painted everyone involved in a positive way if that’s what I want them to be? What do I want to achieve with responses? And then I will word it accordingly. With a few small paragraphs it’s hard to even grasp a lot of the posts and what the poster is telling us, so a lot is left to our imaginations and that’s when people start assuming and things probably don’t go where you had hoped.
For the most part, the majority of commenters here are respectful, particularly on the actual website, the Facebook commenters can be a little more harsh but I always remind myself that those people respond for the "likes" as opposed to being of any actual help.
I do also think people need to be prepared for a multitude of responses when they post their questions to online forums, we as a whole come from so many different walks of life, with so many varied life experiences. I speculate sometimes when people get nasty, it's because the particular post has triggered something in them based off their experiences (That's generally what we all draw from to give our advice anyway).
I do also think if a person is feeling particularly fragile, they really need to consider if they're in the right headspace to be able to take the good with the bad that is inevitable online.
I'm not trying to be dismissive of your feelings though, i don't know what post you're talking about or relevant comments that you're referring to, so I am sorry that they left you feeling this way and I hope you don't take it to heart too much (and hopefully you can see past nastiness to pull out any helpful advice).
There is often a fine line between nasty and honest.
People see things differently. While I don’t agree with name calling etc they present an opinion based on a scenario. Some of the things that are posted here a deplorable.
Look you have to accept that you post here anonymously people can reply anonymously so they like you are going to be bluntly honest. Just like your story they response will be full of their interpretation and flavoured with their experiences. They don’t know you, they only know what you tell them and they make a judgment based on the information given.
I would suggest that given your reaction this is not a safe forum for you. I don’t condone the bullying and I applaud the responses that call it out but like the other commentators have stated sometimes we don’t want to hear the things that could be the most helpful because they are also the most hurtful.
I also think too that like yourself, there will be women who are suffering with anxiety and depression and therefore there responses could come across in a way that is reactive and potentially harmful. That's the horrible thing with the internet but if you are not of a stable mind to come and post here and get negative responses, it may be best to seek out a counsellor to help you with your venting/questions :)
Yes have had the people that attack or mock when you're deep in a hole.
No, can't throw around suicide threats - I do understand feeling low and being knocked down worse from it, but your mental health issues are yours to take care of. I hope this is the realisation for you that you don't need forums, you need to see a psychologist. Best of luck xxx
Re read my post. I said I was so close to ending it all in that moment. I never threatened anyone when I felt like just ending it. Rude
I think the nasty/emotional comments mostly come from the questions when kids are being harmed in some way, mostly psychologically. We are a group of mums and it makes us very angry when kids aren’t put first. Kids are very important to everyone on this forum and when you disregard their feelings or put your own needs above them, to their detriment then you are rightly going to hear about it. For me, they’re the posts where the brutal truth has to be said.
This page has opened my eyes so much to how kids are suffering.
I totally agree!
Absolutely agree! 1) people are vulnerable on here 2) you never truly know a persons complete situation 3) even if the person seems unreasonable, wouldn’t a supportive/constructive response still be more effective than nastiness.