How do you deal with paying for things in your family? As in do you have joint accounts? Do you pay half of everything etc. we have seperate accounts, my husband earns 3 times more than I do and still expects me to pay for half of everything. I don’t mind paying for stuff but when he starts adding things up that he paid for and wants me to pay half of it, like holidays and school camps etc meanwhile he forgets that what I’ve already forked out, like the clothes and food, children sports etc. I pay for so much that he obviously doesn’t realise and doesn’t really want to hear about it when I explain to him.
17 Replies
He sounds like an ass. When my partner earnt much more than me he paid for everything and then gave me a bunch (on top of what I get, without question) and then he spent/saved the rest.
My Partner who didn't earn a lot would come h ome everu pay and hand it to me. To pay rent and buy food and get things for the kids. I would make sure there was enough leftover to give back to him.
There should never be a rich and poor parent in a family, or a pressuring one and a stressed one.
We are a joint family, I had two kids when we started seeing each other and we have had two together since then. Within 3 weeks of seeing each other he handed me his key card and said I need ex amount left in to cover my personal loan, do what you want with the rest. We still have seperate accounts but all money is pooled and things that need to be paid are just paid🤷♀️ Doesn’t matter what account it comes from. He has always worked and I have always been a stay at home mum. I get a small amount of ftb, so I’m reality he pays for pretty much everything. That’s just how our family works and it works really well.
We both work full time and all our money is added together. bills are paid, some money goes into savings, hubby gets spending money for the week and the rest is for shopping and eating out or weekend activities. This works well for us there is no but I earnt x amount we just treat it as one large income for our family.
Share money in one bank account and both have a small play money account.
No such thing as his and hers, just bills that need to be paid.
He sounds like an arse. I’d be looking up financial abuse to see if he fits the bill.
Completely joint accounts and we share all money. None of I pay that you pay this.
We have a joint account, it pays our mortgage and bills and we also have a savings which we contribute to fortnightly via direct debit. We only discuss large payments like a new Xbox game or clothes shopping for ourselves. No questions asked on what is spent on the kids or food/takeaway.
We have separate accounts he pays all our bills And anything I ask him to really. I work part time and usually do the grocery shopping but if he goes he pays. I also tend to pay kids activities but that’s literally because I take them. If I needed him to he would transfer the money without question. We never argue over money. He never asks me what I do with what I earn. And I never question him.
So my partner earns $1500 a week I earn $400
We pay for our own phone bill and then we get our spending money
I pay for the food out of mine
He pays rent, and when it comes to other things like insurance or rego it comes out of our savings
All of our money is together. We follow the Barefoot Investor. We each get a small allowance each to spend on whatever we want
We do have separate accounts and share the bills, it's evolved over time. To start with I earned about $200 a week and paying half was hard. I went without a lot. But it taught me to be self reliant and independent. When I was earning more I had my partner pay half the mortgage and he only had to pay his own expenses after that, I paid for health insurance, all the phones, internet, power, pet costs, school costs, our sons braces etc. Now he's earning more but my salary is pretty decent too so we're just paying half each for shared costs and then our own expenses. He's always been a spender and I'm a saver so it works for us. There has to be that balance of percentages being even in regards to earnings for it to be fair.
We have a joint acct. All bills, groceries, kid stuff and petrol goes from there.
We have separate accts where we have a small allowance to spend on whatever we want.
all of our money is ‘our’ money. All the bills get paid first. We regularly discuss what we need to spend our money in and tell each other when we spend x amount of dollars. Has work perfectly for us since we first moved in 15 years ago. I honestly don’t know how people do separate money. I can’t get my head around it. It obviously works though as I’m hearing about it more n more
Ooooh I nipped this is the bud around 5 years into dating, we’ve now been married for 7 and together 15 years. My husband would literally write things down to the cent even though I would use my own to pay for extras and not bother about going halves. My “bill” got up to the 4K mark which was a huge amount of money for me at the time.
When we bought a house we had one joint account and two separates. I was feeling cheeky one night and told him he might as well rip up that “bill” because there was no way on this planet I’d ever be able to pay it off. Things did change after that, we joined all our accounts, I was earning the same capacity as him also by that point.
When he looks back now he realises how silly it was but it was the way he was bought up. An open and honest conversation about finances needs to be had. You’re in this together. I don’t understand the whole separate finances thing, in the end if things turned sour you are entitled to each others money anyway 🤷♀️
I guess it comes down to, if you needed something or extra for something the kids need, is he happy to cover that cost?
Because if he isn't and sees what is left over in his account as just his play money only, and you have no play money, thats when it becomes unfair.
My husband and I have seperate accounts. He covers 2 thirds of the rent and bills. I pay for groceries, fuel for my car, school fees, kids clothes.
He earns twice as much as me so when it comes down to ne not having enough because something I cant budget for has popped up, he just covers the cost. We may have seperate accounts but its still our family money what he has left over just goss back into something for our family.
We have a joint bank account. We started it to end these conversations. When he earned twice as much it didnt matter, when I earned twice as much it didn't matter. We discuss purchases over $20 and make joint decisions. We're a team unit. End of story.
Sorry, but he sounds like a selfish prick.
We have 5 kids, 3 older are mine, not his biologically, but he cares for all of us.
He earns 4x the amount I do, the only thing I have to pay for is groceries, he covers absolutely everything else EVERYTHING!!!
He pays for private schooling for the older kids, petrol for all drivers in the house, clothes, fun, takeaway the list is endless.
Your man is telling you who he is through his actions, pay attention.
Are these his children as well? Not that it should matter, require more from him, a lot more.
Mine earned 85,000 this year
Pays 300 hundred for mortgage & 350 for rates that’s absolutely it!!