I cannot stand who my husband becomes when he drinks. In the early years of our marriage we were very fitness focused so barely ever drank so it wasn’t really an issue, but lately my husband has started having a drink or two after work to unwind....at least that’s what he plans.
He will often end up finishing a bottle of wine in an evening, or a 6-12 pack of beers. He doesn’t drink often, usually 2 or 3 times a week, but when he does he basically finishes all alcohol in the house.
This would all be fine if he became a happy tipsy, but he becomes argumentative, (and his arguments are stupid circular reasoning where he will contradict himself), boastful and rather mean. It’s like my wise, caring husband gets replaced by a nasty little schoolboy. He becomes oblivious to chores or parenting and just wants to yarn on about his glory days.
He is not like this whatsoever when he’s fully sober. He is a kind, compassionate, thoughtful person and I feel quite destabilised once he starts drinking as it doesn’t feel like I’m talking to my husband.
I think he has some issues around alcohol, but he thinks he’s fine because the quantities are so small and he doesn’t actually get drunk, just rather tipsy.
I want him to go to therapy to see if he can find some other ways to unwind that don’t involve this personality change.
Is this a good solution? Has anyone else experienced something similar and can shed some light on things?
I feel like drinking brings out some unresolved issues from his past which I would love to help him deal with but when he’s sober he tries really hard to think of what the trigger could be and comes up blank, but when he’s been drinking he is such an annoying brick wall to talk to I don’t even bother anymore.