I am heartbroken for my daughter she is only 5 and in kindy she has come home numerous time this year upset.. she seems to be being left out from birthdsy party invites yet she always plays with these kids at school and outside of school my heart breaks for her she is the kindest soul and loves everyone... It's like her reliving my school years
6 Replies
Birthday parties are such a minefield because there is no rules as to who should or shouldn't be invited. I think you need to try and not take it personally. Does your daughter have a few close friends or does she play with everyone? I know my child is the kind of kid who has 2 close friends- he plays with others but they aren't close so I don't expect birthday invites except for 2 kids so if they don't have a party then no invite. I think it is important to teach her some resilience in this sort if situation and as much as you might get upset you need to model for her that it's ok and she wont be invited to every party that happens.
I suggest inviting the whole class at that age. But I know other parents who only invite the kids that they're friends with the parents. There isn't really a norm. Maybe arrange some play dates for her and meet the parents.
This makes me sad. Poor little sweet pea. 💕😞
This is so common. Usually it's the parents deciding who is invited - are you friends with the other parents too? If not, a lot of the time they will exclude your daughter because they think it'll be awkward if you hang around at the party (SO STUPID, I KNOW). Sometimes with kids though they just don't give a second thought when asked who to invite.
If they're playing together outside of school then it is odd they aren't inviting her. I was your daughter though and it was very upsetting :( in my instance it was because we lived in a very low socio-economic area however my parents were extremely successful and managed to put my elder siblings into private school at the time. So people were jealous and didn't want to socialise with our family or have anything to do with us kids. Once we moved to another area it got better.. but it's not the solution at all :(
We have been so lucky at our school the trend is the whole class get invited or the whole gender in the class get invited. I’d say this will change as friendship groups develop but this half of kindy this is what has happened.
One of mine was always invited the other wasn’t. I said look don’t be sad, all it means is for every gift you would have bought them, I now have more to spend on you. It was the only way when little to help make her feel better she wasn’t invited to parties everyone else(including her younger sibling) was.