Hi community, would like some advice regarding 'Reddit'. My understanding of this is it is a social media platform where anything can be posted. However from having a good look at it, its much more.....
Yesterday i had to get bank code off my husbands phone for him and when i closed the app, the reddit app was behind it with a picture of a very large, naked obese lady on it...i was like wtf...asked him why this popped up and he said it was spam.
Today my curiosity got the better of me so i brought up the search history on his computer and he had looked up porn of lets say not my type of taste ie: pregnant p&*y lickers, anal lickers and such..time frame wise he was more clicking and onto next one and so forth...time wasn't spent looking in depth.
We are open with each other's phones, so this evening i looked up his phone as the Reddit app was on there. I checked out what he 'following' and found him following a chick who posts photos of herself naked and in lingerie in same picture. She has many followers. No comments or messages have been exchanged.
Tonight I asked him about what i opened when i looked at the banking code thing to which he said 'its for gaming, grab my phone and look. All that other stuff is spam'. I said to him 'please don't fib, im not stupid. Im not trying to pick a fight either. I know its a platform for different things and people post porn there too'...he hardly responded as our kids were around shortly after. Not long after im doing dishes and he comes and cuddles me asking if i had a 'spare 5 minutes...?' I said 'not at the minute as i have to do a few things, kids to bed etc' but in my head i was still like wtf are you looking and following these birds yet after I've called you out you want sex but dont give me an explanation at all as to why you following this shit?
I really dont care if he watches porn...what man doesnt, but this type of platform where you can communicate with the person if you choose too and following 'certain' people who aren't in the porn industry is this normal and should i be concerned?Definitely not a 'side' i thought id see in my husband. We watch porn together and have a healthy sexual relationship, well i felt we did but now like ok am i missing something? And tbh feeling insecure in a way too.
Hubby is also one who shuts down and gets a bit defensive on some things for eg in the past for something very similar saying things like 'you think im cheating; wouldnt be with you if i was interested in someone else; you dont trust me'..but its this type of shit that im like if you got nothing to hide dont ark up about it. Im confused...
Please no nasty comments, just want some advice. Thankyou.
4 Replies
I really think this is a slight over reaction from you . Your relationship sounds actually pretty good the way you have described it , you guys both share an interest in porn together , and have access to each other’s phones , that’s more than some relationships allow ( mine included ) . He seems pretty open with you about everything, I just think he’s embarrassed be caught , and that it’s just a little fantasy ,, I don’t believe for a second he would take it further by cheating on you . He’s just having look , and judging by what you have written he’s very much in love with you and is only perving on reddit . Cut him some slack for this , but if it starts increasing , or he becomes secretive, worry then . No need to at this stage .
Nah wouldn’t bother me in the slightest, I use tumblr to follow porn accounts. No messages or comments exchanged ever, it’s just really easy to find photos rather than videos and when searching it’s straight to the point and you get what you want. I prefer visual photos than videos particularly when getting myself off and too have used Reddit.
Sounds like he’s open and honest, don’t fuck that up by snooping as he will start hiding things as he feels you’re onto him.
Sometimes my partner looks at pictures of chicks online and reads erotic stories. Sometimes he shows me sometimes he likes to keep it to himself and that's ok because he's allowed his private things and we are pretty open about it at some point just doesn't feel I need to see everything.
And the same goes in reverse.
However I know he doesn't masturbate to them so I know I'm getting all the benefit l. It's just eye candy for him (and yes I know he's not because he has a theory that when he does bad things happen so if he does I'll always get lucky later lol)
My opinion is you're over thinking this.
My husband looks at all kinds of shit.
You have an honest relationship, he hasnt contacted anyone and as you said he was just flicking through. Dont make it something that its not.