I have 2 daughters and of late, I have had this strange feeling that my youngest is “only on loan” to me. Like she belongs with someone else or somewhere else and I find myself savouring every second with her.
Staring into her eyes - which she returns - and smiling at her as she warms my heart so much and then I feel immediate dread that she’ll disappear from my life whether it be through death or someone will come and take her from me. I’m instantly upset and go into instant helicopter parent mode. I have no idea why and what it is and if it’s normal.
I don’t feel like this with my eldest. I did suffer PND with the youngest and I wonder if this is something that contributes to my feelings. OR, I have considered that she’s an old soul and it’s something else that I’m picking up on that’s way beyond my comprehension and/or understanding. Any thoughts or insight please??
Edited to add: I still currently take antidepressants (have been for about a year) and am feeling good and in control and have been for almost 6mths.