At a loss as to what to do

Anonymous

At a loss as to what to do

Hi 🙂 have posted with u roughly 2 yrs ago about my 15 ur old daughter being taken by an older man ( town sargents son) well she stayed with him. Now she has given birth to a beautiful baby boy 10 weeks ago, 3 weeks ago he was taken to hospital and we have found out that he has been abused. Fractured skull and bleeding on he’s brain 😢 detectives and docs have put it down to the father after a lot of interviews and reports. He had supervised access in Brisbane children’s hospital and a week in for caught by a nurse hurting my grandson again! He’s now been banned from visits. Baby Joseph is still in Brisbane hospital and has been threw 3 operations on he’s brain so far. My daughter has lost him to nsw FACS (a child protection agency) because she is defending the father who everyone believes is physically and mentally abusing her as well.after being with her every day since she was 5 months pregnant she has now ditched me because I won’t help her support the boyfriend who has done this to my grandson. I’m at a loss at what to do, I love my daughter but neurosurgeons have proved beyond a doubt my grandson has been severely abused plus the nurse caught the father going for seconds. Detectives haven’t charged him as yet and tell us it’s a long haul, maybe 6-12 months even! I believe if this toxic human wasn’t a policeman’s son he would be locked up right now. I just don’t know how to support my daughter when she is supporting this monster that has hurt my grandson

Posted in:  Behaviour

8 Replies

Anonymous

Baby first then daughter. I have a friend who had the awful task of reporting his own daughter to DOCS and requesting her son be removed due to drug issues. It has been a rocky road but he has shown his commitment to his grandson becoming his carer and facilitating their relationship and finally his relationship with his daughter is rebuilding as she is sober longer and can see the truth.
The same for you daughter. The priority has to be for your grandsons safety, then putting in place processes to disentangle her from this monster. Seek help from 1800 respect.

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Anonymous

Your daughter has made her choice to stand behind this scum of a man and not protect her child. Now you need to decide who you want to stand behind. Is there anyway that you being the maternal grandmother can gain custody of this beautiful baby after he leaves hospital

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Anonymous

Poor baby that is so sad. Such a tough spot for you but you need to put this baby first now. Your daughter is choosing this guy over her baby it does not mean you should. His Dad being a cop won't mean anything in this case, the detectives working on it won't be having anything to do with him. Unfortunately our justice system doesn't have a good record for sentencing parents who abuse or kill their own children so if he gets off lightly its just our justice system failing once again rather than it having anything to do with who his Dad is.

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Anonymous

Put the grandchild first. An innocent soul, bought into a toxic family and being abused for no reason. Your daughter has made her bed and needs to lay in it until she wakes up and sees the light.

Be there for her when that happens, but until then cut her out. Take custody of your poor grandchild and don't look back!!!!

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Anonymous

So so sorry.

Baby first. He can’t protect himself, so you have to step in and do it for him. He is the most vulnerable.

You can help the daughter when she is ready to accept help. Until then.... you just have to wait.

I’m hoping you have a really good psychologist or counsellor to support you emotionally.

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Anonymous

Omg that poor baby boy! 😢 I fell for you. How heartbreaking.! speak to the nurses and tell them you wish to see him and cut your daughter off. If this hasn’t taught her what he is like then nothing will. this is terrible 😢if might be a good time for you to speak to a lawyer and see what rights you have. Get something in place for this little beautiful boy who is going to need his grandma.

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Anonymous

oh hun thats so awful. ultimates the baby needs you more then your daughter right now. shes at an age where she will make her own choices and if she is choosing the man over her son you wont be able to change her mind :( BUT you can be there 100% for that baby who needs someone strong and willing to be on his side. if oyu side with your daughter you wont be given the chance to care for him. if you choose to support your granadson first then once he's out of hospital you could be the one to care for him and keep him safe. (cps will do an assessment first and make sure that you will keep him safe from his parents. if you support her you are in advertantly supporting him :( she needs to learn some hard lessons. :( think of it as tough love for her maybe. and pray pray pray that she wakes up to what is happening before she is hurt more too. big love to you this is such a horrible thing for your whole family to go through.

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Anonymous

I'm going to say you should be a support network for your grandson and not your daughter. She has chosen her side, so you need to be there for the baby.

As for the police. They can't just say yes he did it and arrest him, they need evidence to prove to the court that he has definitely done it. They will put in a lot of effort behind the scenes, that you won't know about, to get the job done.
I know of someone that works in the child abuse squad, and it is hard work for them, as it affects them emotionally and mentally too. They will get it done and they will do a good job of it - they will charge him for as much as they possibly can to make sure he gets something for doing what he did. After their work is done, it is up to the justice system to sentence, and hopefully it will work out for you in the end.

Good luck with everything, and just be there for your grandson.

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