I have a 5 year old daughter and my next door neighbours have 2 girls (4 and 3 I believe)
The neighbours kids are knocking on our door daily, most days 2-3 times a day
They often come at inappropriate times - at 7am, dinner time or after my daughter has gone to bed
My husband and I always politely tell them that our daughter isn’t able to play but then they go home and yell over the fence calling out to my daughter
I truly believe that their mother has no idea where they are most of the time!
I also found out last week that on the odd occasion my daughter is allowed to go and play, if the kids are unavailable then the parents don’t even bother to answer the door. They just rudely scream at my daughter to go away.
Today they pushed me to my limits when the girls were knocking on my door as I was cooking dinner. We decided not to answer the door and hope they go away. My large dog barked like crazy at them too (his bark is big and scary)
But they just kept knocking for 10 minutes and then camped out on my porch for another 10.
What do I do? Do I confront my neighbour?
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6 Replies
You tell them to go home and if they want to come over to play they will have to get their mum needs to text you to ask first and they can onky come over if you say yes and give them your mobile number to give their mum.
I guarantee that will be the end of it.
I had this issue with my neighbourhood kids. But they would sneak over and knock on my son's bedroom window when he was asleep. So i waited until they were in my yard and i walked out and said very sternly "excuse me! You boys need to turn around and go home right now please and do not knock on my son's window again!" Well did they turn around and take off. I dont make a habit of telling other people's chikdren off but they were being naughty and i was sick of it.
Sadly the only way to deal with these kinds of families is go zero contact.
No more play dates, ever.
It sounds harsh but the parents have no interest in teaching what’s acceptable and what’s not. They don’t care about you at all.
The only way the children will understand is a firm ‘no’ don’t come back again. You will have to repeat it until they understand you are not changing your mind.
We had a similar situation when I was a kid, this little girl down the street didn't have a great home life and I reckon she'd knock on our door 20 times a day. My mum would let her come in and play for a few hours then tell her "Ok sweetie, time to go home now we have things to do", she'd oblige and then come back 20 minutes later. It got to the point she'd be knocking on the door at 6am (although, after my dad answering the door in his boxers one time, that stopped 😂) and sometimes still knocking at 9pm.
My mum ended up having to be really firm and blunt with her, basically told her she was being rude, she wasn't allowed to knock on the door at meal times, before or after certain times, if she's been sent home she wasn't to return til the next day. I think it broke the poor girls heart or her dad caught on because she stopped coming all together (and avoided me at school).
I personally would speak to the parents first, maybe a "our girls really seem to get along really well and they constantly want to play together, which is nice but I think we might need to set some ground rules between us. Maybe we could text first to check it's convenient or these times suit me so if you could just ask your girls to not come over outside these times I'd appreciate it".
If that doesn't work, you may need to get your mean mum out lol.
Oh I feel you
I had the exact same thing happening. My neighbour kids would even walk into my bedroom in the morning because they were just following my daughter around.
Best thing, and I know this is a bit confronting, is to contact mum and just say politely that you love them playing together but if maybe texting before would be an option.
When I grew up, I had to ring my neighbour and ask if she can play even thought she was next door, it's called respect.
And if you don't want them playing at all maybe you need to come up with an excuse, whatever your child is sick cobtagiously or something like that. It's very difficult without pissing the other parents off I guess but this is absolutely annoying and I truly feel for you
I have a similar problem. Lady down the road let's her 6, 4 and 3 yr old girls roam the streets. They come here to play sometimes I'll let them other they will let themselves in. At no point has mum known where they are. One morning they where sitting outside our place at 7am! I have confronted mum and she said they just take off. This woman has doorknocked at 11pm trying to find the oldest, constantly walking the street to find her kids. Someone reported her to dcp and she has agreed to work with them hopefully it will improve.
I commented originally but I missed their ages.
Is it possible they're older than you beleive? My daughter is 8 but is frequently mistaken for a kindergartner (much to her disgust lol) because she's kind of pocket sized 🤣
If that's their correct age, i actually would get the police to do a welfare check - I couldn't even fathom letting my 3 and 4 year old wander around from as early as 7am up til bedtime hours. I would absolutely not let your daughter go visit either, regardless of age there's obviously a lack of adequate supervision.
In short: Instill some firm but kind boundaries because your house might be their safe place, and get someone to check out the living situation for these girls.