Father of 11 year old son, has denied me access and has not kept up on weekon /week off arrangement. This happened 3 weeks ago, missed out on his birthday, Easter and School Holidays. His grounds for withholding access to my son is his demanding me to pay for Sporting commitments that he organised was not met. We have always had the arrangement I cover my sons Private Health and Schooling which I've always done, he was to cover sports. I simply don't have the extra funds to cover sports also. So he decided to keep 11year old. He has just told me he is letting Centrelink know that my son is living with him full-time so he gets full payment. Does he have the authority to make this change when it's not an arrangement I've agreed to?
Ex withholding access due to me not meeting his demands, can he do this?
Ex withholding access due to me not meeting his demands, can he do this?
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15 Replies
Centrelink will contact you to verify this . He cant tell them without the input of you . When they do call you regarding it , tell them that NO he does NOT have him full time . He will be denied any extra payments from them .
Thank you.. I just don't know where to begin :(
Is there a court agreement in place about care %
No, always just a verbal agreement.
Then as unfair as it is he doesn’t have to give him back, or let you see him. I would go and get your self a lawyer and explain what has happened and go from there. Unfortunately verbal agreements mean nothing
I made an appointment today with Legal Aide. He keeps telling me Mediation will side with him, force me to pay for Sports because that's whats right? I simply can't.. Private Health and schooling are my priorities right now. He goes this often but never this long..
Mediation will not side with him at all, especially not over money issues. If you go to court and he is using money as a reason for you not seeing your son things won't go in his favour. Plenty of mums have found that out the hard way.
Also if he can prove that your son is in his care full time (which he is at the moment) then he will be granted full payments and you will need to back pay any monies that you have received in the interim
No, he can't withhold your son. See a lawyer ASAP. I went through this with my child only he was 16 and I couldn't do anything about it. As for Centrelink yes he can but thats the least of your worries right now, you need to put a stop to this as soon as you can.
He offered me today if I agree to pay the sports and take him to out of town sports, I can have him back. But I can't do that, I have 3 under 5 at home with my husband and I and can't afford that extra expense :(
Get a lawyer and get son recovered and establish custody in an official plan. Maybe go for parental alienation to scare him into doing it sooner rather than later. (I'm believing that what you've said is true and that's the only factor involved).
Is child support a cause of this? See if you can do a private agreement and not collect, see if things go back to normal. It's a hell of alot easier and less stressful than going through court and possibly going months without seeing your child. You also have something to keep the ex in line too, if he starts being an asshole threaten to claim cs again.
I would not be concerned about Centrelink (for whatever reason he has him full time and has to support him). Follow the Legal Aid route and get something in writing *and signed by a judge* so it is enforceable. They will not have any interest in the financial issues. You cannot be denied access for that reason and the ex will be told. Keep your head up and just do what you have to to get access again and in a way he can’t hokd him again. Wish you all the best...
Thank you so much, I have made an appointment with Legal Aide for Tuesday. Breaks my heart not seeing him.
There are no legal orders and nothing stopping you from going to school and picking him up early. Then only communicate via text and tell him he will not be having visitations until theres been mediation, and orders made via the courts. Keep a diary, all texts etc. But only communicate via text