Hey everyone I'm needing some advice and also to vent a little.
I think my 6 year old may have adhd or autism or maybe even both. I've noticed over the years he has shown some characteristics of having behavioral problems. I took him to a paediatrician when he was about 3 to have him assessed because our usual doctor observed his behavior during a doctor's appointment I was having an suggested it. But nothing came of it as the doctor said he was just defiant and basically blamed us as parents for his bad behavior. He started prep this year and I recently had a parent teacher interview and this topic came about in our conversation and without me even mentioning adhd or autism she suggested I should get him assessed because she had been noticing a few things herself. So basically he doesn't focus on anything besides what he's doing in the moment, he becomes obsessed with certain things or objects for a period of time and that's all he will talk about for weeks. You could be discussing one thing and he will change the subject to that thing. He has very poor impulse control. He has been in trouble for hitting and kicking other students, saying the f word which he has never done before to my knowledge and he also poked the chickens with a stick at school all in one week. When I asked him why he did those things he told me it's because his brain told him to do it. He constantly picks on his 2 year old brother. He hits him, pushes him kicks him..he's been hurt numerous times from being kicked off the lounge and landing on the tiles. The other day he kicked him off our bed and he went head first into our cupboard. Then yesterday he pushed him in the face and he fell on the ground. He cannot sit still, he screams In his brothers face and just bounces around everywhere. I'm So concerned he is going to really hurt him one-day. I've tried all sorts of ways to discipline but nothing works. He has complete.meltdowns sometimes and is so demanding and repetitive. He just does not stop. I'm at my wits end I'm so down and depressed and extremely exhausted from them fighting every day because he's just so nasty. He won't share his toys or anything and now his brother is starting to mirror this behavior and he's become a horror of late. Another thing that worries me is I love my son to bits and I always will he is my baby but I do not like him right now and I can't stand to be around him half the time because he's just too much and nothing helps. I don't want to resent him and that sounds horrible I know but I can't help it 😢
7 Replies
Ask for another referral to be assessed and if possible/applicable ask for a different doctor to get another opinion.
Write all these things down (the instances) and request a referral to a developmental paediatrician in your area who can then refer for assessment. The longer he goes without early intervention the worse it will get. You will have to steel yourself and become his fierce advocate to get him what he needs. Find your local support groups for autism/adhd (the autism handbook is sold in most good bookstores and is full of great references).
As a mum of a child with ASD lvl 3, ADHD and ODD my heart goes out to you. Sending you strength for this season.
I just wanted to also add. We do the usual - speech, physio, OT, behavioural therapy etc (and all have been helpful at different paces) but have recently started this at the recommendation of other parents and our OT. Three appointments and we have seen huge improvements - https://www.retainedneonatalreflexes.com.au/
My son is not a candidate for most of the medications due to other health issues. Be careful and ensure your paediatrician does a full round of bloods, urine, heart testing and family medical history before prescribing medication to treat ADHD. Any good paed will.
3 is probably too young for adhd diagnoses. Likewise for ASD if he's high functioning. If he's now in school and the issues have persisted and are present in various environments such as home and school, it's worthwhile getting him assessed again now. Ps.... I have had more success with getting genetic testing done through mthfr support Australia than I did through a paed. We're about to start med number 7 through the paed, but even the paed recognises that addressing the biological issues has been the biggest improvement and the prescription meds are now just assisting until maturation helps a bit. You'll probably have to wait for a paed so you might be able to look into a few things in the meantime.
It took four years to get our son diagnosed with ASD due to useless medical advice many times over. It's mentally, financially & emotionally draining to be told my child is 'just' sensitive in a one hour pead appointment observation. It happens a lot. Keep advocating!
What we finally got an ASD diagnosis from was a 'DSM V' test. It's a questionnaire based test, not a doctor's opinion. Get the teacher to do it as well (ask which form, it's not all of them). Err on the negative side when answering, as confronting as that will be. The teacher's observations were ultimately what got our diagnosis over the line as the teacher sees things we don't.
If it's not ASD, find a properly qualified psychologist who specialises in children & will actually listen to you & find out a diagnosis & a therapy plan.
As hard and overwhelming as it is, you need to be vigilant and get a plan together where they are separated if you can’t supervise them.
I felt sick reading that, you will never forgive yourself if he does permanent damage to your two year old.
Good luck, you need to get that diagnosis and get him into therapies and then things will get better.
Just book the assessment and then get the refferal. That's what I did. Start with ASD