Hi IMs!
I have a son but I would love to have another child. My hubby and I agreed prior to my son, that we would have 2 kids.
Once we had my son, he continues to say that he only wants him now (a few years has passed)!
I don't want to wait any more as I have Endometriosis and my chances get slimmer the more I wait to conceive. Should I give up hoping for another? Is it wrong of me wanting another?
Another baby?
Another baby?
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Health & Wellbeing, Pregnancy
5 Replies
Absolutely not wrong. But if he's not on board, you need to find a way to be OK with that.
It's not wrong for you to want another child.
It's not wrong for your husband to not want another child.
Babies tend throw a spanner in even the best made plans so unfortunately what you agreed upon before he came along is no longer relevant.
If your hubby is absolutely firm in his feelings the only choice you really have is to accept it and move on or consider if it's a deal breaker.
Before my husband and I had our first child we also agreed that we would have 2 kids (if the universe would allow). Well it turns out that I hated being pregnant! When my husband first brought up the idea of trying for another I was dead against it and he busted out the whole 'but we agreed we'd have 2 kids' conversation. I explained to him that we had that conversation long before either of us really knew what being pregnant and having a child was going to be like and I didn't know if I could do it all over again. He was a little disappointed but in the end he understood that a conversation we had before we were in the trenches really no longer had any bearing. The best thing you can do in this situation is keep the communication up with your husband. Don't keep reminding him that you want another baby but ask him to really think about it and then have a discussion about his concerns. If after that he still isn't on board then unfortunately you may have to accept that that part of life is finished and move forward with the next. Good luck!!
I agree totally with this.
I wanted 3 until I had one.
You can talk about the number of kids you are going to have until you are blue in the face, but unless you have kids you don’t know how you will cope, how your relationship will change and how your life overall changes.
No, it's not wrong of you to want another, but if there's a "yes" and a "no" in the relationship, you have to fall on the "no" side. People who say stuff like "you only regret the baby you didn't have" are full of it. Many a time another child has been the breaker of people and relationships.
Personally I always envisioned 2 kids, then the birth of and first few years with, our daughter nearly sent me off the deep end. I turned into this anxious, shouty, constantly stressed out mum who could barely bring herself to leave the house. Whether it was the hormones or if it was something else, I don't know, but it nearly killed my relationship with my husband and, to be honest, nearly killed me too. I'm okay now, and we discussed having a second but as my daughter grew I realised I didn't want to go back to that again. I couldn't do it to our daughter or my husband. So we've stopped at one.
Talk to your husband, figure it out, but be prepared that you may have to accept that it's just one.