So, I made the decision to tell my husband I want to seperate. We had counselling and I realised things had been bad for a long time and there is no hope of getting back what we once had. We are now sleeping in seperate beds and I’m looking to move out with our son, which he doesn’t know. I’m also seeing a lawyer for advice next week, but I guess I feel like things have stagnated since my announcement and this is a bit of a pity post really, i’m feeling really sad at the moment and just want to feel supported and loved by a partner which I haven’t been for a long time I also feel I need a hug! I have some great girlfriends who I am very greatful for and are willing to listen and am seeing a Psychologist, but just want to have someone in my life who can be there when I need them to be and a good role model for my son.
Looking for tips anyone who’s been through a similar situation and encouragement that things will get better.
Separation and Loneliness
Separation and Loneliness
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Self Care
8 Replies
I’m a little confused, you wanted to feel loved, supported and hugged by your now ex partner? Who you live with (for now) as your planning on moving out and taking his child with you and not telling him and seeing a lawyer behind his back.
Din't want to be hugged by him, it's over between us. Guess I'm just feeling the need to be hugged by a partner who actually has some understanding of my wants and needs.
Oh dear. Well this doesn't sound great... You need to surround yourself with your girlfriends. Sort your life out, build yourself up, once you're living alone you can hook up but god, a role model for your son ' ??? You havent even moved out yet. This is how kids end up in trauma and mums end up stuck. Seriously, slow down and focus on you.
I think you just need to remind yourself of the process you decided on.
It’s not going to be easy, you knew it and that’s why you tried so hard to stay. But in the end, the pain of leaving, seemed like a better option then the pain of staying and trying. Keep on keeping on. You e got this. Some days will be harder then others. And hell yes, you are going to feel lonely. But remember where you came from and remember why you’re leaving, remind yourself of where you are goin!!!!!!
I would hold off on finding a role model for your son, he has a roll model HIS FATHER! And seeming as you haven’t said anything bad about your husband just that you have decided that your done, I hope you do the right thing by him and your son and agree to 50/50 with out making him beg/ plead and send himself broke trying to spend a decent amount of time with his child
I would hold off on finding a role model for your son, he has a roll model HIS FATHER! And seeming as you haven’t said anything bad about your husband just that you have decided that your done, I hope you do the right thing by him and your son and agree to 50/50 with out making him beg/ plead and send himself broke trying to spend a decent amount of time with his child
I think you're just longing and perhaps grieving somewhat for that companionship and support that your marriage has been lacking for so long.
That's probably a very normal emotion to experience during this difficult and taxing process.
For now, you just need to focus on doing what you need to do.
Keep seeing your psychologist and learn how to be content and capable as a single woman, not looking for someone to fill an emotional void because that is when red flags get overlooked.
Work on yourself so when the time comes to persue new relationships, you'll know exactly what you want and deserve, so you won't settle for the same old shit!
Focus on getting your son through the separation of his family first, on what he needs. He needs you to be a good role model, not some imaginary guy. Try to keep things amicable with your ex, it will help your son more than you can imagine.