Mums, I am in serious need of help. Professional help, community help, I dont know but I need it. I am constantly dropping my son off to school late. Some mornings I'm 30 minutes late. I was approached by a teacher this morning who asked me why my son was late again this morning and I said it was my fault that I'd overslept. Me oversleeping is such a horrendous issue. I've set 5 alarms all from 6am to 7am and most mornings I am in such deep sleep that I cannot hear them. I suffer from a variety of physical and mental crap it's not funny. Over the weekend I had another flare up of gastritis (your stomach becomes inflamed and it feels like someone has your stomach in a vise and is twisting it and stabbing it at the same time) and that went on for 2 days. Last night I was awoken by my 2 dogs going absolutely bonkers and I was too frightened to go back to sleep (I recently had a break in were stuff was stolen from my yard) and I heard knocking on my house twice at 3am.
My house looks like a bomb has hit it and I feel utterly incapable of cleaning it up. My body and mind are constantly so exhausted that by the time I get back home from drop offs I can feel this heavy blanket coming over my mind and body and I sometimes just crawl back into bed because I cant move from exhaustion. It's like I have 50kg weights just hanging off me everywhere and my mind just gets hazy and tired.
I've gone to the doctors. Ive had the blood tests. Ive had the check ups and everything. My last round of bloods was fine and I asked the doctor "well what's going on with me then? Why am I like this?" He tapped his head and said it's all in your mind... so no help there.
Overall my life is a catastrophic fkn mess and i am sick to death of my son having to deal with the fact that i dont have my shit together. He deserves so much better. He deserves a mum who has energy to do this basic day to day crap! The motivation and the drive to just do what needs to be done!
I dont know what's going on with my body, mind or sleep but it's all gone to shit and i need help. I need to rearrange my life somehow and i need to do it fast. The school is now asking more and more questions about our tardiness and i just dont have the excuses left. Please someone point me in the direction of someone who can help me!
13 Replies
I have gastritis too it is horrible. I think what you need is a dietician, cut out the foods that aggravate your gastritis and also find out if you have any intolerances that could be making you feel like this. I can't have lactose at all or I feel like you have described, also when my gastritis is severe I am bed ridden for days. It really is the world of difference when you're eating properly! Good luck.
I would ask for a mental health care plan and see a psychologist ASAP. You sound really depressed and I suffer from it too. It’s so hard some days especially with the day to day crap. But if you try a combo of medications and counselling it will really help. Xx
A fair few things can be done to start sifting through the mess:
Mental health plan - see a counsellor to work through those issues.
Ask for another round of bloods and check everything over.
Do you take any mood/hormonal vitamins? I’ve always found they help even if it is the slightest.
Change your GP because he sounds like an arse.
And is it possible to move? It sounds like the sleep could be an issue because you don’t feel safe? So you probably don’t get the quality sleep at night (while you are scared) and then hit it hard in the mornings making you late.
I am assuming you are on your own with your son. Does he not wake you? Are you able to ask him to make sure you get up by a certain time? I find alarms to be useless with me, I just turn them off and fall back asleep, but my son (4yo) is able to wake me after certain cartoons finish on ABC lol
Hi there. You've described mental health issues. That fucking doctor makes me so angry. I've been exactly where you are and also had them shrug and say that's all there is.
It is not! Go to a woman doctor. Keep going until you get help. You need a referral to a psychologist and you need help with this.
Meanwhile, instead of saying you that overslept, say you are struggling with health issues and even mental health issues and anxiety affecting sleep and tell them you know his schooling is being affected and it's adding to your stress, ask if they have support or referrals for help.
They care about your child and you as well, but saying you slept in causes you to feel like shit and they don't understand the extent either.
If your alarm is right next to your bed,it’s so easy to hit snooze. Forcing yourself to physically get out of bed may be a simple trick, but it’s an effective one. I agree with what others have said to ask for a health care plan and dietician , eating the right foods helps with feeling good & sleep. Are you able to do a work out after school drop off at home to build up energy levels so you don’t feel like going back to bed. I would also ask for some vitamins you may be able to take
Can I ask what state your in so I can try link you up with some support servives?
You are a mum and trust me it’s not as abnormal as you might think. You aren’t alone. Some days I’d leave my kids home because I just couldn’t get out of bed. I felt the same way. I was totally exhausted and I have 3 kids. I have gone on an anti depressant, I take 2 x 500 mg of magnesium supplemts a day and the difference this has made to me. I used to be awake all night, I’d feel like crap all day. I’d eat crap food. I know I was depressed and since being on my medication, I feel so much better and have so much more energy. I didn’t realise just how bad I was until I look back now and without my medication, I was pretty bad. you may have depression, even though you might not think it. I also loved states and have had a refreshing new start. A nice change from the everyday depressing rut that I was stuck in. I’m not saying medication is the answer for you & im on the anti depressant for another medical condition also so it works well for both for me. I am a different person. The magnesium helps me relax, sleep better it does wonders, you just have to give it time to work. I’m up every morning now by 6.30 am I don’t want to sleep as much as I did before and the kids are always at school early. Go to your dr and ask him to do a questionaire for depression. I was at the point, I couldn’t even look at any paper work from my kids school, it was all to overwhelming. It certainly does feel like you have all this weight on your shoulders but know you aren’t alone and there are ways to manage it. You just have trial things that work for you. Getting the right amount of sleep is the first thing to sort out & speaking to your dr about depression. He shouldn’t have told you, it’s all in your head. He should recognise the signs & offered you to fill in the questionaire and went from there. If you go to beyondblue, they have the questionaire on there which will give you the results. Check it out & answer them honestly.
Follow up from my long long post..
Please stop telling yourself you don’t have your shit together, you do. You sound like you are a little depressed & sometimes we can be depressed and not realise it.You are obviously a great mum and thinking of you son. We all struggle at times & it’s all about getting over the speed bump and finding what works for us. It’s tiring, rewarding and mentally exhausting raising these little humans. But the main thing in they are cared for and no matter what we are going through, we always put them first. Don’t be hard on yourself or beat yourself up over it. It’s only late days at school, he isn’t harmed and you are doing the best with what you can. You will find your way, just being patient and take one step at a time.
I have been living this. GPs just want to call everything Depression. It wasn’t.
See a sleep specialist and maybe a psychiatrist.
I am always tired. A Multiple Sleep Latency Test is what you need. This will determine how your fatigue is affecting your day. Sleep doctors understand this. Inability to organise yourself could be inattentive ADHD. Look into the women’s symptoms. I only got diagnosed with both of these at 37 after years of complaining to doctors that I was tired. Finally pushing the GP to refer me to a specialist changed my life. There is hope and help. Sleep doctors understand.
There could be more going on with you ... depression ? Anxiety ? Sleep apnea or something else ? Chronic fatigue ? Allergies (contributing to gastritis !? And also fatigue ) burn out ? ( how stressed were you before it all started ? Over worked etc ) - what family and or friends have you got around you ? If no family perhaps you can ask a close friend to help do school drop offs for a while ? How old is your son ? Is he old enough to get him self up and start getting dressed ? Give him alarm get his school stuff ready the night before (uniform out , lunchpacked etc ) keep setting your alarms and ask him to come in and talk to you ... ask someone (as above ) if they can help come get him and drop him officials n time ... and n the meantime find a new dr tell them everything and be honest about it !!! Ask for more testing ? Vitamin levels , allergies and sleep patterns ... To explore what else could be going on , talk more about a mental health plan and talk it out with a therapist as well and really but out where this all started ... you mind find your key !?
It’s not going to be easy but you CAN do it !
What area are you from ? And f you don’t have any close friends maybe someone here could help ? If you were close to me I’d try !! :)
Good luck mumma
Pm me if you want someone to talk to, I'm an experienced mum of not having her shit together
You have a mysterious medical condition. You can follow the advice given here and If you are still not better I suggest looking into Medical Medium and TRS which is helping thousands of people. Do your research don’t just rely on Doctors. Once i realised they couldn’t help me I had to do it own my own and find the root cause, it has taken me over five years but I am getting better
First you are not alone!!!
I have chronic illnesses plus unexplained fatigue and insomnia. Along with mental illness.
These have caused me to do all of the above. Last year my daughter had days off school because I physically could not get up and was not safe for me to drive.
Since my daughter was a toddler (now almost 6) I have done my best to try and explain why mummy is laying on the couch with a heat bag, why mummy is in pain, why mummy needs to rest some days etc and honestly it has made her so empathetic, loving and caring. I remember when she was 2 she would kiss my tummy, now she puts my heat bags in the microwave haha.
As for the school I had a meeting with my daughters teacher and vice principal and explained my health issues, that i am a single mum and if I can't get her to school I have no one else too. My daughter was also having behavioural issues which also caused us to be late or days off. They were completing understanding. They said as long as she isn't falling behind academically or socially then we don't have to worry and same should be for your son.
For me and some friends we find that lists work really well.
I have a white board with everything that needs to be done around the house daily, weekly etc.
Then the night before I write a small achievable list. On the list I have the basics, shower, feed animals, packs lunches etc. Then a few other tasks such as do a load of washing and hang out, sweep floors, wipe kitchen bench, do dishes, mop, tidy (insert chosen room here).
If you don't manage to tick off everything on your list then put it on tomorrows.
I have also found that I doing one task then sitting down for a bit then doing another task can also help because you are spreading it out.
Oh and as for alarms I have at least 10 from half an hour before i need to get up. I do them in 10minute intervals um until 5 minutes before. Then i do them in 1 minute intervals all with continuous snooze every 5 minutes.
You have got this mumma. You are doing ththe best you can and that's all any of us can do.