I'm only at early stages but I'm really stuck, lost, confused, angry and every other emotion there is.
Back story
I have been a solo mum since I was 13 weeks pregnant.
The first thing my ex said when I told him was "what are you going to do, you can't keep it" he booked me in for an abortion.
The Dr could tell I didn't want it so we went home. I wanted this child so badly.
This man was already abusive. But it got worse. He was very physically violent. He assulted me so bad one afternoon I would of been 10 weeks at the time. He broke my keys smashed my phone and took my wallet one day. I was completely trapped.
One night I was hiding in the bush after a fight (started with I had to many shoes) I was in that bush for hours.
I came home and he got violent. I ended up in hospital with a threatend miscarriage. I had 3 while I was pregnant when i left him he sent over 300 texts a day 100 calls and emails. I couldn't cope.
When I got my keys fixed I got in my car and didn't look back.
I took out an avo after Serious threats and stalking.
It's now been 4 years. I moved interstate when my daughter was 3 months old for a new life. He wasn't listed as dad and centerlink exempted me from child support.
His never meet her never asked.
Today
I moved back in with my mum in November as I couldn't do it on my own any more.
I received a letter from the Navy headquarters. Saying he was being deployed and they know it's tough on families. Offering me and my child all this support.
He has my child listed as his daughter!
His going to be getting going away alounce for her. It makes me sick his using my daughter in that way.
His always been manipulative and a fraud.
I'm struggling emotionally financially and physically and I do it cause I'm her mum i love her. And his getting something out of it. I pay for her pediatrician her OT her child care right down to her ice cream we get on Sundays.
I meet his partner who he was with when I left and she approached me. She introduced her self as his new partner. I didn't have a clue who she was. She was asking so many questions. What's yours daughters name how old is she. Is that her over there pointing to where she was playing. I walked away. It was odd like she knew I had a daughter but didn't have a clue about anything. This was only a year ago.
How can he get going away alounce when his been absent for 4 years. I don't need the navys help I've never had help.
I'm lost on this. what do I do? Do i get a lawyer? Do I ring the navy and explain? Do I just let him get away with it?
I'm worried I'm going to rock the boat and then he will want to be her dad just for the money.
But can I be done for fraud as I have been claming centerlink for the whole time even now the avo has lapsed. And he has told the navy she is his. He wouldn't even know her middle name.
Does any one know anything about all this legally? And what i should do?
Birth father made a reappearance
Birth father made a reappearance
Posted in:
Mental Health, Self Care, Sisterhood Stories, Parenthood Guilt, Behaviour
3 Replies
I would be ringing them you received the letter how ever the child he has listed on his file and is receiving an allowance for he has never met, is not on the birth certificate as the child's father, that you have never received anything from the navy about this before and you would like the child removed of his file. He is pretty much frauding his place of work for money for a child he has no actual proof is his.
As he is not on the birth certificate it is up to him to get DNA done and prove through the courts.
In regards to centrelink, I'd highly doubt you will get in trouble and have to pay anything back. But keep all your proof to show there was and avo that's now lapsed, that you don't receive any money from him.
I would also still follow up legally as well just to be on the safe side.
But I can definitely tell you the navy will not be impressed that he has named a child to be his when he isn't on the birth certificate, he will more then likely be have to pay it back, or be served with more severe consequences.
As a defence wife... You need to call DCO they are on that letter. You need to advise them he is not on the certificate and has not been with that child since she was conceived due to domestic violence to which you had taken out a avo.
Report this to the Navey also as this is feaud and he is getting separation allowance for being deployed. Defense don’t take fraud lightly. He will be charged fraud.
What a sneaky asshole! I guess the upside would be your daughter will get looked after if he dies while on duty! The likelihood of that is not great though, definitely ring them. I would be inclined to tell him your daughter is not his just to guarantee none of this kind of thing happens again. Or tell him you want 4 years of child support, I'm sure he will back peddle quite quickly back to his little hiding spot. Sounds like his new Mrs is just as cunning as he is.